Terrible situation - all my own fault - what's best?

[MichaelH]

Dear all

I've got myself in a terrible situation and it's all my own fault.

I was with a long-term girlfriend and we split up - she was going to move a thousand miles away, and we could get on with our lives. Instead, she moved but only a hundred or so miles.

In the meantime, I thought I'd go on a few dates, and to my surprise, I've met a girl who is wonderful. We've seen each other a few times and it's starting to get serious

However in the meantime, my ex-girlfriend, who would like to get back with me, has visited me, and stupidly, stupidly, stupidly, I've got on quite well with her, to the point, where if we meet for a weekend, it's quite nice, and we've been intimate again.

In effect, I'm seeing two women, and I don't know how to end it all. I'm basically being a jerk, largely through my indecision.

Although I would hurt the new girl, I could in theory end it with her, because she's not as closely attached. The ex-girlfriend will be terribly upset again, if I end it with her, but although we get on a lot of the time, I think I know why it ended.

I can't carry on like this and need to make a decision. What do I do, and hurt as few people as possible?

Michael

[girltalk]

you should end it with both of them, since you are clearly not fully commited to either of them, therefor not completely into either one.
Best bet, just be single for a while until you cleanse your emotional palette. best of luck!

[tropigal82]

I agree, if you can't decide between them then you obviously don't feel strong enough to have a lasting relationship with either of them. End it with both, because its not fair to either of them to be strung along romantically just because it's 'nice'. Don't stay with your ex-girlfriend 'just to do her a favour' because you will end up resenting her for it.

[MichaelH]

Ok,

As I see it, and I tend to agree, I should break up especially with my ex-girlfriend.

I feel with the other girl, we've only been on four dates now, so it's too early to tell which way it could go.

The problem is that I've been staggeringly unsuccessful at breaking up with my ex-girlfriend. She is German, I am in the UK where we lived. After going back to Germany, she moved back to the UK after we broke up, and is on her own here, except for me. I've found it hard to keep broken up - I think because there's a familiarity factor. And she wants me, and I'm not strong enough to say no.

Any advice?