Guys and committment issues

[Banana9erl]

Hi all

It's been 2 1/2 months since my ex and I broke up. We broke up suddenly and randomly one day because of committment issues on his end. He had never been single before and wanted to live a single life before even thinking about and considering marriage. There were no problems in our relationship and we were perfectly happy, even he acknowledged that. I know this breakup was a hard decision for him, it was the first and only time I had ever seen him cry. I sometimes wonder, was this a bullshit excuse because he just didn't want to be with me anymore?

I've been trying to move on and date, but as I date more and more, I'm realizing that I'll never find anyone who made me quite as happy as he did, and who was truly a good fit for me. Maybe I'm not over him yet, I'm not sure.

I'm wondering, how long does a guy need to live a single life before settling down? I know there isn't a specific timeline, but guys, if you can give me an idea of what a guy needs to accomplish/attain before they think about committing to marriage. Keep in mind we are both 27, and we were in a 2 year long relationship previously. I have had no contact with him since the breakup, and I'm also wondering if I should? I really would still like to be in his life somewhere in the offchance that he does become ready for a committment and the timing works out right for us both...

[Wiredbomb0]

Well, I'm sorry to hear the news for you.

You shouldn't think that it is a bullshit excuse; if he cried when breaking up with you, then that means it would have cut him emotionally

As for a single life, I can not really say how long; It's different for every person. I think that you should keep in contact with him, but then also keep your distance. Live your own life and continue onwards, but if he wants to come back to you, you're there

I wish you the best of luck!

-C

[sookie6]

I am very sorry to hear about this painful break-up especially at this significant age when a woman is ready to settle down.

I recognise the issue you are talking about and I have seen it happen many times around me among couples who got themselves in a relationship too early. I guess your ex had a relationship before you and maybe another one before...which means he has missed on this precious time alone and single.

In France couples get together now at 17 and get cosy for many years. They can't wait to move in together and they go from family life with their parents to family life with their partner.

To me this is just wrong. But how can you help it when triggered by hormones and genuine feelings love birds don't wanna hear anything..

My very best friend left a healthy relationship with a stable and good looking man because at 26 she found herself smothered and incomplete. They had been together 8 years (met in high school!).

So your ex's feelings are very valid and not unheard of.

My advice now:
Let sometime go by with No Contact whatsoever on your part. In fact try to read all the thread on the No contact rule. You'll see that it's the way to go to give a chance to your ex to come back to you if his breaking up was just 'in the heat of the moment'.

If he doesn't come back..I am afraid you need to move on. Do not wait precious years waiting for someone. Get yourself together, go out, make new friends, reconnect with family, travel, date and do not compare men to your ex. It's unhealthy and will only hold back on finding a new love.