Can someone tell me what he is doing?????????????

[Supernova]

Hi, you may all know me from posts such as (sound like the guy from the simpsons), but really I have posted before, my latest being "Part 2 The Biggest Brain **** Ever".
I am proud to say I am starting to feel better, and after my last conversation with him - its made me dislike him enough to go - definately was wrong. But for my future love life's sake, please tell me what is going on in this man's head. I would appreciate your comments.

So you know my history, i was waiting for him to call it off after his "i do not know what I want etc etc" and you all know we do not live in the same town. So I cannot see him.

I finally answered his call, as he texted me and wanted to talk. I thought, great he is going to tell me he is prepared to change and I would say, do it on your own and prove it after a few months. But noooo he was a jackass, talking about how women flirt with him then on and on about not knowing what he wanted. Boring!!!!!!! heard it before, it gave me the guts to say "hey buddy enough i cannot take this crap anymore, break it off or... and before I could say "or I will" he said "I knew it would come to this soon, i guess it has to be over". Great, so I say goodbye and hang up.

Next day, I get "Miss you".

What the ****?

Then Valentines Day, i get, Happy Valentines Day, love you.

Oh great, I am starting to dislike you.

We talk again ( took his call because I am confused now) - he talks about general things, as if nothing is happening, then starts with the flirting. While I am on the phone and he is in the store he tells me two women were flirting with him, and I heard one giggling behind the checkout, this guy is ****ed up! one girl had said to him, excuse me I nearly ran over your toes with the trolley (I heard it she was NOT flirting with him) and the other was a giggly 17 year old (he told me) and she was just a young girl. Man this guy has to hurt me. (maybe he does not even know he is). Then outside he goes on and on about a program he saw on russian brides and how he feels some are really looking for happiness, and how all the men were ugly and geeky who had flown over to see them and the girls loved them. (he has said this before, he is a very good looking man and its almost like he is jealous of them guys). Weirdo!!!!!!!!! so why the **** should I have to listen about all the girl bullshit?

What is going on in his head?

Then he ends the conversation with Love you talk to you tomorrow.

I hung up with my mouth hung open - what the hell was that?

If he finally called it off why text me, talk to me, tell me love you miss you and make a point of Valentines day.

Unfortunately he received a card i had sent him some 14 days ago in the mail, and I said love you in it. (but that was two weeks ago when I did - not after this shit) so I got the text, "the card was nice, thank you. Miss you.

As usually two more days passed I have not heard from him and I am NOT contacting him, it has been him all along.

Pleaseeeeeeeee tell me what this behavior is?

[lhn]

Why are u so bothered about his behaviour? Sorry to sound harsh but please stop talking to him.
You're the one on a forum asking for help, I'm pretty sure he isn't. You said you answered his call because he confuses you. Clearly you have feelings for him and aren't ready to move on if you are spending the time to talk to him.

Imo, he is friend-zoning you. The "i love you" stuff is confusion imo or perhaps he does?! Either way, you wont ever know the truth so the best advice I can give is to stop looking for the answers

Goodluck

[Gigabitch]

He's keeping you on the hook with very little effort on his part. If he actually had to work at keeping you thinking about him, I doubt he would. He does this because he enjoys the power he has over you. He's a creep.

[cmacattack1]

We've already told you that you need the space to get your life on track and to focus on you. And any attention he has shown you is this kind of immature behavior. If you haven't expressed to him that you need space, you need to do so as crystal clear as possible. If you did already and he isn't respecting it, you are going to have to take more drastic measures with call blocking and so on.

Thank god I figured shit out and didn't end up like your guy. No offense. If I acted like that in my fourties, shoot me in the face.

[Supernova]

I can definately say, I do not love him anymore like I did. I do not need someone like this in my life. When I took the emotions out of it, I looked pathetic hurting over him, but its only human when you have been with someone so long. I guess I just wanted to figure out why a guy would act like this, to help me in the future. Its been 5 weeks since we saw each other last and I can honestly say now, throughout our relationship I had that small inner voice telling me something was not right (the booze).
I have not been making an effort to contact him, I was trying to get on with my life. However I realise now after reading your comments (Gigabitch) that I may as well been contacting him because I would take his calls etc.. So in fact i was there whenever he wanted me. So today, its Call blocking time (Cmacattack1) , should have thought of that. I am happy to put this all behind me. Also noted, if a man in his fourties acts like this he will NEVER change. It is not a mid life crisis think at all. So up and onward. I am not going to date for a long while until I am read to. I do not want to carry over my baggage to another relationship just yet, it would not be fair.
Thanks again guys. Its all up to me now. No contact means no contact and move on. NCMO.

[Roymax]

I couldn't have said it any better, supernova. Thata girl

[Jas_mine]

Sounds to me like he is extremely insecure which is why he keeps telling you about girls that are supposedly interested in him - he wants to arouse jealousy in you and to prove himself as a great catch. His behaviour is completely disrespectful and not to mention hurtful. Have you ever questioned him about it? If you haven't then that's a start, maybe he doesn't even realise he does it or maybe you don't react to it so he deems it fit and doesn't see any problem with it. If you have brought it up before and expressed your concerns about it all then I guess you have a very insenstive and rude boyfriend, it's up to you really how much you can tolerate.

[Supernova]

Hi Jasmine, yeah he is rude. We are not together anymore, it was a 5 week "did not know what he wanted" then it was called off a few days ago "officially". I do not want him anymore, long story. I was just asking what all the women talk was. I have closed off all communications now. It has taken me 5 weeks to wean myself from responding, because it was all of a sudden, he was not like this before, but hey they say love is blind, maybe he was.. Anyway I will not become bitter and twisted. Some other men on here have been through a stage of pulling away from their girlfriends not knowing what they wanted and were a bit mean, but have come back nice people, focused and ready for serious relationships. That alone has given me the confidence that there are nice men out there. A Lesson for all of us, men and women, LISTEN to that voice in your gut the "alarm bells", I ignored them. It saves a lot of heartache. This man is beyond help. So onward! NCMO (no contact move on!)

[joy&freedom]

It looks like he is just teasing you... Good for you that you managed to overcome your emotions and put an end to this torture. You are definetely worth much better patner than this one.

[Supernova]

Well, here I am trying to move on. I had not got around to block his number yet, why? weakness. But I do not respond. I gave my phone to my friend and asked her to do it, she will give it back to me tomorrow morning! its like cold turkey but I have to do it. I had received another text from him... "I have not heard from you in 4 damned days, have you forgotten me?" What the hell is that?????? I am not going to waste my time to figure it out. Oh yeah, the latest rumor, apparently he is telling everyone I dumped him..... The thing is, the more he is acting like a child, the easier it is for me now to move on.
I pray for the day I cringe at how stupid I was to have dated him for two years.

[lhn]

Supernova... I'm impressed. You seem to have gained a huge amount of clarity on all of this. Your eyes have opened and finally you can feel your mind changing from 'omg, I can't cope without him' to 'how did I put up with him'.
Its so hard to wrench yourself away from someone you ahve spent so much time with. It goes from 100% to 2% almost overnight and your heart yearns, no matter how much you don't want it to!
The 'realisation guillotine' has come down and the slow healing process begins...

This is now your time. No rush to meet someone else, just try to look forward to the freedom that being single brings.
But don't get too comfortable, theres nothing int he world better than being inlove and loved back.

Congrats :-)

[Gigabitch]

It might be time for the "Go **** Yourself" speech. He needs to know that it is OVER. Then you can reinstate no contact.

[LeeLooD]

Please stop talking to him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg...
I dont really know how u put up with this.
Im sorry i got carried away, is just that men can be assholes (we can too but.. that's not the case here lol)
Look, seriously... he's totally playing you.
I know is hard, but .. move on.

[Roymax]

I had received another text from him... "I have not heard from you in 4 damned days, have you forgotten me?"....."I just wanted to tell that the two women really did flirt with me...honestly."

forgetten?..yeah, some things are worth forgetting