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Thread: she's way too clingy

  1. #1
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    she's way too clingy

    me (27) / her (42).
    i met this lady the other night, we hit it off and all within an hour, she was back at my apartment. as soon as she got out of the car, she was holding onto me. hung out in the apartment for a while, she is already telling me her life story, medical issues, had me talk to her daughter on the phone. she is already talking about spending the night and everything. we have already had sex by the 2nd day.

    i told her before having sex, that all i wanted was a friend and just looking for fun and that is it. to me, it seems that she hasnt been with a guy in a long time. she is all tooooo touchy / feely. my main concern is that she is not catching feelings for me that i do not have towards her. i am out of town right now, visiting my parents and she wants me to bring a gift from my hometown and wants to know when i am coming back into town.

    she is really scaring me away. i cant figure out why is like this. should i cut this between us or not? i havent pressured her into anything that she didnt want to do and i told her what i was looking for. i just hopes she understands where i am coming from.

    opinions needed...........

  2. #2
    vashti's Avatar
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    She had you talk to her daughter? Eww. Why would she do that? Is she trying to show you off to her kid?

    She is getting way too personal too quickly. It isn't normal. Run for your life.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by pellis View Post
    me (27) / her (42).
    i met this lady the other night, we hit it off and all within an hour, she was back at my apartment. as soon as she got out of the car, she was holding onto me. hung out in the apartment for a while, she is already telling me her life story, medical issues, had me talk to her daughter on the phone. ..........
    Right here is about where you should have backed off and called her a taxi....by having sex with this sort of clingy person you are sending the message that you will love her forever (at least this is how this type of person will understand it).

    What are you doing anyway at your age going out with a mature woman?...have you misread what cougars are about? They are usually confident, attractive mature women who are looking for fun...

    On a side note: you can be as clear as it's possible on your intentions she will understand only what she wants to...her brains is twisting all info into the fairy tale she wants to experience...

    I am not patronising you but it seems you need a wake up call about chosing who to date. When you start dating someone, you should pick up on signals of neediness straight away. It's your responsibility also not to take advantage of someone who is vulnerable. All her clinginess was showing that alghouh older she is actually the weakest link...

    Anyway I am just trying to help...also I feel sorry for this woman.
    Last edited by sookie6; 21-02-10 at 11:25 PM.
    "Oh I could spend my life having this conversation. Look, please try to understand before one of us dies"

    Quote Originally Posted by Yet another guy View Post
    It's just plain simpler to view the world as black and white rather than probabilistic shades of gray.

  4. #4
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    Petit Papillon is offline Napinacz
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    I never have much understanding to people who date really much older people... like 20 years or something... Don't you feel like you're dating your best friend's mom? Plus, this woman is some psycho for real...Maybe she went through a rough divorce or something?
    I wazzzz here


  5. #5
    Illusional's Avatar
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    well she is 42 and she's not getting any younger...

    raverboy
    ...this is just my perspective on the situation...

  6. #6
    vashti's Avatar
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    I understand why she'd be interested in sleeping with the younger guy, and maybe he enjoys her sexual peak. They probably have more in common sexually than he would have with someone his own age or a few years younger.

    I don't really understand her clinginess - I don't think it's age or divorce related, unless she is one of those women who feel incomplete without being married. My mom was that way... it was so disgusting after my father died. She was shamelessly aggressive in pursuing men. Of course, she was also successful at it, and probably much more so than I would be.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

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