I feel so lonely without her, and it's not getting better..
So, I finally cut her out of my life... for good. No contact, I don't see her, I don't call her, I don't e-mail or text her, nothing. I stopped, cold turkey. It's been about 2 or 3 weeks now after her consistently being there everyday for a year and a half. This is the hardest thing i've ever had to do in my entire life. I've had people break up with me before, and it sucked and it hurt but I managed to get by because they did it to me and moved on. So it was like a major hurt at first and then after a little while the pain was gone.
In my current situation she's still right here.. I have to go out of my way to avoid her.. And if I really wanted to (and i've been fighting the urge) I could still do all the stuff we used to do, and pretend like the long distance BF she has doesn't exist. But I really had to demonstrate self control and take a stand for myself. I told her that if after this much time she hasn't offically chosen me, it means she chose him.. and that she can't have me as a friend anymore.
So at first I felt really good about myself for taking a stand and doing something for me, for once. But now I just feel lonely and empty. I think about her every spare moment I have and i'm just dying to contact her. I go to the gym, I go out, I keep myself busy, but those things only provide temporary relief and at the end of the day I still think and dream about her at night. Sometimes I find myself using every bit of restraint I have not to call her and tell her I love her and I still want her so badly despite what she has done to me. What should I do?
Be careful with your heart, because when someone seems too good to be true, they usually are.