Confusion which needs resolving

[soullucent]

So my ex girlfriend has got back in touch, even said if I'm cool to "do the mates thing" now we could meet for Lunch.

I never intentionally broke up contact with her, but while I was out the Country she sent some text's which I never recieved, then gave it one final text saying "I understand from your lack of response to my texts that your after 0% contact, which I understand, but it's Ironic as now I work just round the corner from you, anyhow hope 2010 is good to you" - She is still with someone else!

Yes I like this girl & always have done, I broke up with her, just needed space, in which time she met someone else, completely the opposite of me, A "safe bet" I would say! She loved me very much, I did her too, but I made a few mistakes which caused her to be jealous, not any actions on women, just not showing as much affection as I should have done leaving her feeling I never loved her deep enough...... Far from the truth, but anyhow I needed space.

So regarding this text from her, I have met her, and the connection felt just as before..... everyone around us, even sound dissapears when we're together, we don't judge one another, we can talk about anything. Now when we met up she was bringing up little things about the past, all good things, even told me a story she said she could only tell me!

So I'm kind of lost, I know she is still with this other guy, yet she still wants to meet me for lunch, I'm curious does her boyfriend know about us meeting, and the other thing, IF she is so in love with him, why is she wanting to meet me??

I'm not after rushing anything, but I know I have feelings for her, I've gone through things in my head over and over, I'm 35, too long in the tooth to be starting something then changing my mind, and being round this girl just feels so right, and the history we had without all the romantic holidays was a fantastic match I thought....... We've many things in common. Now I'm also too long in the tooth to be striking up a friendship with an ex knowing I'm going to warm to her again as there has ben nobody else since our break 8 months ago, just been improving myself in this time.

So what do I do girls, should I continue seeing her? I'm almost certain there is an attraction there.

[soullucent]

So nobody hs any advice on what I should do here?

[traceylee36]

Ok.. she is with someone elsey et wants contact from you. 35? you are not long in the tooth yet rofl..im a 36 year old woman..i do not feel long in the tooth. Do not hurt yourself again. If she wanted to be with you she would be with you..get it? move on hun

[Gigabitch]

Be straight up with her about feeling the connection and tell her you're not actually interested in being friends. Pretending to be friends is bullshit.

[soullucent]

Ok, I'm not too long in the tooth, I guess what I meant is I'm too long in the tooth to be making any more mistakes in my life and letting the one person I felt close to down!

Yes I want to tell her how I feel, but at the same time I feel these little Lunch breaks could be what will remind her of how well we get on together, it was one of the reason's we parted, I wasn't as responsive to her emotions as I should have been, I acted (non intentionally) selfish, I was so tied up in how Happy I was in the relationship that I forgot her needs from time to time..... Thie big issue was listening! So these Lunch breaks are my way of showing her I have a good ear and a heart she can confide in! I do feel comfortable around her and it doesn't hurt my heart being with her if that makes sense, I know in time I will openly tell her the way I feel, she always liked the fact I can be frank!

So should I give it time then tell her? or tell her while she is still in this relationship which I personally believe will make her run, not because she doesn't want to be around me, just that it will confuse her and she does have integrity, she's with a supposedly sweet / caring guy and wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings! Although I reckon she only loves him enough and even though she doesn't know it, subconsciously he is a rebound!

See when she was with me she more or less lived with me, the new guy I know for a fact she spends a lot less time with him than she ever did myself!