no sex in my relationship

[Junket]

Is she overweight?

[potter]

yes she is..

[chrisy]

Seeing your picture would NOT help anyone in determining the reason for her lack of desire to have sex with you. "One man's meat is another man's poison." We all have our likes and dislikes. The guy that I may think is a "9" maybe another woman's "4" and vice-versa. Some women may like skinny guys, some may like athletic guys and others may like "chunky" guys.

The issue is not what other women may like but what YOUR girl likes. Maybe you both are incompatible sexually, maybe it's an hormonal imbalance, maybe she is not feeling appreciated, who knows? Speak to her........

[IndiReloaded]

[url]http://www.ehow.com/how_2319658_date-wife.html[/url]

I think you two need to have a *frank* discussion about your attraction for each other. Is there something(s) she finds a turn-off? Can you do something about it?

Just keep it non-confrontational w/rules that you are trying to improve your relationship, not cut each other's heart out. See what you learn.

[shheadz]

Seeing your picture would NOT help anyone in determining the reason for her lack of desire to have sex with you. "One man's meat is another man's poison." We all have our likes and dislikes. The guy that I may think is a "9" maybe another woman's "4" and vice-versa. Some women may like skinny guys, some may like athletic guys and others may like "chunky" guys.

True. I have a friend that won't talk to any guy unless he's got a big ol' belly. She says if he's not resting his belly on her head when she goes down on him, then he's no good. lol

OP, you said you've been working on losing weight, but have you actually lost any? I guess it doesn't even matter. You could hit the gym every day, and turn yourself into a total stud, and it won't make a difference if she doesn't get into shape too.

[ade2010l]

Youth peace, I'm new and I want to welcome

[potter]

yes i have lost about 15-20 pounds..and shes been working on losing with me and she has lost like 10 pounds.....

[Gigabitch]

You know what's good for losing weight? Exercise. You know what gets your heart rate up? Sex.

[potter]

i know...i keep telling her that..but she keeps pushing me away when sex is brought up like she wants nothing to do with it

[needsomehelp123]

Bring it up to her. 4 guesses-

She's depressed or has so much going on she's tired and doesn't care about sex so it's more of a mental/physical thing not stemming from you.
or
She's bored in which case mix it up and don't stick to the same old sexual routine.
or
People already mentioned the body image thing but that can't be solved by you, it has to come from within her.
or
She's unhappy in the relationship. She's not getting what she needs from you and therefore she doesn't want sex. Remember women have sex with their minds. So there could be a much bigger issue going on here and she resents you.

[aninnocentlife]

hey Potter... i think i may be able to give you some insight. About a year ago i completely lost my sex drive and it was really really scary. obviously my partner realised pretty quick and to begin with it caused problems because i didnt really understand what i was feeling or why. he felt like i wasnt attracted to him, that i wasnt in love with him and that i might be cheating on him. none of these things were true, but i couldnt explain why i felt like i did. i am very very lucky in that me and my partner share everything so i eventually managed to find the words to explain what i was feeling but that i didnt know why. he encouraged me to go to the dr and now we are both attending sex therapy sessions to help me get my libido back.
i had no reason for loosing it, im only 21 and im very much in love with my partner. unfortunately it just happens to some people, but you can get it back if you want to. maybe she is going through what i am...in which case she may be scared or unable to explain to you what she's feeling because she doesnt understand it herself. the best way to go about it is to get a time when you can be alone, make her relaxed somehow (music, massage, hugs...what ever works for her) and say something like: "I love you with all my heart and I always will no matter what. Ive noticed something has changed with us (*dont say somethings changed with her, make sure its 'us' so she doesnt feel blamed) and i think its important to talk about it. We're a team, anything you're unahppy about makes me unhappy too...and being a team means that we will both work together to fix it. I am always here for you, there is nothing you can tell me that would change that. Please dont be nervous or worried about talking to me and letting me know whats going on".
talk gently and calmly and hold her hand the whole time. never put the blame on her coz she wont want to tell you anything. if she still declines and says she doesnt want to talk about it, say okay and that you wont force her but that she does need to talk to you about it very soon.
if she does open up and its anything like what im going through, please please feel free to get in contact with me if she wants someone else to talk to thats been through it. i wished i had someone to talk to when my stuff started and i know how much it could have helped. id be more than happy to chat to her.
also, i know how hard it is for you- youre confused and feel rejected, but if this is her problem, i guaruntee thats not her intention and she still loves you just as much. cuddle and kiss her lots, but dont try to start anything more than that... that used to make me feel pressured and i would pull away.
good luck!

[doppelgaenger]

Did you try sticking your head between her legs?

[mikechudej]

Hi Potter,

Have your situation getting better?

Mike

[potter]

no unfortunately its hasn't....actually we have separated...she left me about 3 weeks ago...so which really sucks cause i was really tryin hard to make this relationship work...even without the intimacy

[mings]

Not too bad, but your view is so unique. I like it very much.