Hi everyone. I have some feeling in my heart that I just can't seem to get rid of.
Me and my current fiancee has been together for a year and a half. we been through so much things together its unbelievable. I stuck by him through thick and thin but something in my heart feels like nothing is settled. When we first got together, he was still currently married. I didn't mean for it to happen but it did. I know that you should never mess with a married man but me and him started to get really close and he told me that he loved me and he was never happy with his wife (his family knew he wasn't happy) but the only reason why he stuck with her is because of his 3 kids. She never let him go out at least one night. She never and refused to work (the longest job she kept for was 3 months and decided to quit because she said she didnt feel like working), my current fiancee was the only one that worked throughout the 7 years they have been married and took care of his kids when he got back from work cause she would state that shes tired. Anyways, so 3 months into our relationship i felt bad, so i told him to go back to his wife and work it out with her for the sake of his kids. He tried, but he left and said that he missed me too much and he love me and only me. So we get back together. Then a 2 months after, he tells me that he's going back home and he's going to work it out with her. Then I was so heartbroken..... i felt so miserable. but later i though to myself.... thats what i get for messing with a married man. On the same day, he said that he cant do it. he realized that he wants to be with me and only me. (oh yeah... when he told me that he was going back home... he text her that he was off work and called her mahal =/ ) I thought i about it and worked it out with him.. yeah i know love is blind. so he really did try, but he would always help her out. he used to live with her but he helped her clean the backyard, put together his kids beds, and letting her borrow the car when she wanted to go out. Interestingly, she would bitch at him and call him useless and a bad father.... i talked about it to him that he shouldn't help her out. She doesnt appreciate it. I explained it to him and he understood. So later down the months, they do the paper work for divorce. during those months she would text him and bitch at him and i felt like she always tried to keep an eye on him. she wanted visitation for hiim from friday - sunday, so he doesnt go out. he pays child support and want to spend as much time with his kids, but she always threatens him and says she's going to call the cops. argh.... i dont know... i try to talk to him about this but it just seems like he doesnt understand. well anyways, his divorce is going to be final on april 8 and he wants to start a family with me. that's how i know that he loves me.... so i know you guys are wondering... where does the question "why am i feeling this?" well here it is:
today he went to the court to speak with the judge, prior me and him were talking and i asked him when did he decide that he didn't want to be with his wife anymore? and he said after his 3rd kid was born which was 2 years ago. then he said it was like on and off when he wanted to leave her.... so when he said that.. for some reason i felt doubts.... like when you say on and off, was it because you still love her or you stayed because of the kids.it made me feel like he somewhat still cares and loves her.... i always said that they were weird because she treats it like they're still married but live in separate houses. i don't know.... i know he loves me cause he wouldnt do all this.... but why do i feel doubts? somebody please tell me....
if i left anything out.. im sorry..... but thanks for reading this long post.... it just bothers me..... and i just need some answers...