Can time really be a healer??

[Im in peices.]

So I was wondering if time really is a healer?

I broke my exs trust and she instantly told me that she never wanted to speak or see me again. Then after a lot of apologising we are on good speaking terms again and even going out at the weekend. Just as friends though. The thing is we were as good as back together when I broke her trust and she is saying that there is no hope for us now ever.

I know I have a lot of hard work to do to rebuild her trust and will do everything I can. She says that she is still in love with me and I am head over heels for her, I just wanted to know if time can be a healer? Has it worked for anyone else before?

[QueenofCorona]

Easier said than done. Each situation is different I guess, depending on what you did to betray her trust. Say you cheated, she may always second guess your actions with other women going forward. Say you lied, she may always question what you are really telling her in the back of her mind. Sometimes you can forgive but its a lot harder to forget.

[Im in peices.]

We had just broken up and I read her email for some closure, I know it wrong and I instantly felt guilty. I did not lie about it, I told her what I had done and was not caught.

[girl68]

Honestly some can forgive some can't she maybe the one who can't and there isn't a darn thing you can do about it.

[Im in peices.]

I hope this is the one case where she can forget.

[1ncredible]

Can try your best, but sometimes it's best to learn from your mistakes and move on. Depends how much of YOUR time you want to devote to regaining that trust

[cmacattack1]

It's easier to move on. Less work that way instead of trying to build up your trust again, you start off fresh with somebody new. Even if you told the new person about how much of a dick you were before, it doesn't matter as long as the now is fine.

If you really believe in something and want to work towards it, I say you go for it. Are you going to be able to keep your composure for the long haul in this effort to win her back? What if you lose her along the way to somebody else, will you be able to handle it?

[Im in peices.]

I really do believe in this, more than I have anything before. So I will go for it. It will be hard in the long haul, but after everything that we had I believe that this is the right thing to do.

And If I lose her along the way, then at least I can say that I went for what I believed in and also if it didnt work out then I suppose that is how it is meant to be.

[cmacattack1]

I like your attitude man. It will hurt if you do lose her along the way but it is a better feeling to know you gave it your all, rather than living in regret for screwing up. At least you are in the picture and have your foot in the door. If she does have somebody else though, your friendship will suffer. That's what you are currently going for right?

[Im in peices.]

We are currently friends but I want her back as my partner. Yes I know it will hurt, but as you said better to know I gave it my all. Hopefully I have half a change that I can make things better, I spoke to her tonight and I really think that I have made progress. I just need her to see me in the light again that she did when we was going out and not the person who caused her pain.

Also if there ends up being someone else I dont think that we will speak and be as close as we are now, so although it will hurt I think that it will be easier than the first time when we broke up and I was devistated.

[cmacattack1]

Ah....it's easier in the fact that it isn't the first time but it will still hit pretty hard if that happens. That's a big if though and there is no point pondering the future. All you can do is be you right now. Try not so hard to show her you changed, you don't need to. If you have recognized behaviors from the past that screwed things up and you have fixed them, they will be noticeable. Trying so hard to prove things to her doesn't prove anything at all and probably will make it worse for you in the end. You gotta ease into this, don't run and gun right off the bat.

Concentrate more on things that bring you happiness and I don't mean just things that you do with her. Hang with your buddies, try something different and new that you never thought you would do before, keep things interesting and exciting. You will have lots to talk about with her besides what you have changed and it will keep things interesting and keep you happy, and she will see that you still have the person inside of you that can bring her happiness.

Best of luck. Don't overthink things. You are in a better situation then most....well depends on how you look at it.

[nasstil2]

if u know u can rebult the trust do it coz we are human ful of mistake non is perfect

[Im in peices.]

Thanks for the advise. All I can do is give it my best, but its is a difficult thing to prove. I will just be me and treat her a million times better than the last time. (and apart from this I treated her the very best and gave her everything I had.)

We spoke on the phone last night and this morning and things are good. We are going out on Saturday, just as friends though, and wil see how it goes. She did tell me that it will take an awful lot of time for me to regiain her trust and that if there ever will be a chance for us it will definately not be in 2010. This is hard but then I didn't think that it would be easy. I know it takes time and this is what I have to, what I really want to do.