Choosing sucks

[cmacattack1]

This girl doesn't want you. If she really wanted you she'd drop her bf and be with you.

She doesn't want to leave the comfort she has for some guy that she can treat like this seems to be the first thought that pops into my head. You haven't met the girl in person yet, have you?

[the_robot]

ummmmm WHAT? Does that have to do with my post?

Well, maybe not except for the "second best" part.. sorry

[the_robot]

She doesn't want to leave the comfort she has for some guy that she can treat like this seems to be the first thought that pops into my head. You haven't met the girl in person yet, have you?

nope, just skyping and such, wanted to go for a week or so to her this summer, but the situation is quite difficult...

[nesossin]

hmmm........

[girl68]

She doesn't want to leave the comfort she has for some guy that she can treat like this seems to be the first thought that pops into my head. You haven't met the girl in person yet, have you?

No, but I know girls just her. I know how girls like her think... You're right she doesn't want to leave her "comfort man" but that's doesn't mean it's okay for her to act like this...

[the_robot]

No, but I know girls just her. I know how girls like her think... You're right she doesn't want to leave her "comfort man" but that's doesn't mean it's okay for her to act like this...

I do agree she shouldn't treat me that way, but I get why she feels that way... I may be an idiot for this, but I'm willing to be her "comfort man" if she treats me properly and doesn't try to deny me having a gf while she has a boyfriend.. and goes around ****ing girls...

[girl68]

So you've accepted she could be using you for attention and are willing to live like that. That's fine but dont' come here complaining your "friend" treats you like shit. Either way lay down the law. She isn't allowed to dictate your gf status. She doesn't have the right.

[the_robot]

So you've accepted she could be using you for attention and are willing to live like that. That's fine but dont' come here complaining your "friend" treats you like shit. Either way lay down the law. She isn't allowed to dictate your gf status. She doesn't have the right.

Believe me I'll keep this in mind, she used to treat me really good for a year, and then she got sick and started treating me bad, but she is beginning to feel better and she has been wonderful today, so I want to give her a chance...
She asked me to forget what she said last week because she was angry.

I do realize this could be a game, but I think she deserves a second chance, specially because it seems she is accepting what I asked her. I'll keep an eye in case she starts treating me bad again, and if she does I'll put an end to it, I won't allow her to control my gf or anything either.

About being used, I'm willing to help if she doesn't make me feel like a tool, I'll make sure she doesn't just use me.

Thanks to everyone for the advice, it's been very useful and has made me see this with a better perspective.

[xxazurexx]

Sorry to say, but it sounds like you are providing the attention, that she's obviously not getting from her boyfriend.
Having you around and at her beck and call, while dictating to you, what is to be and what is not to be, is all giving her an ego boost.

If her bf was paying her even an ounce of the attention you are, you would likely never hear from her again.

[IndiReloaded]

You are letting yourself be friend zoned. Google it. There are ways to escape but they require you stepping up a bit. When she asked for computer help, you need to have said something like:

"Why? Isn't your BF able to figure this stuff out?"

or

"Sure, but what are you going to do for ME in exchange [wink]"

Right now, she's just using you buddy. She doesn't respect you. You need to show her you are worthy of respect, then she will consider you might be a worthy partner as well. That's the order of things. Good luck.

[the_robot]

Sorry to say, but it sounds like you are providing the attention, that she's obviously not getting from her boyfriend.
Having you around and at her beck and call, while dictating to you, what is to be and what is not to be, is all giving her an ego boost.

If her bf was paying her even an ounce of the attention you are, you would likely never hear from her again.

That's one of the things I fear and I told her, she doesn't deny it, because she can't. The thing is, her boyfriend is perfect to her and she is perfect him, they are just the perfect match, except because the poor guy has 2 jobs and school a night, so he rarely has time for her. How would I be entitled to ask her to drop a guy I know is perfect for her and while I know she isn't for me?

A complete romantic relationship between the two of us would not work in the long term, it's just that my obsession to have a real romantic relationship was making me not give a damn about it or her and want it, but this thread helped me see that clearly... I was using her to fill a gap and she was using me to the same purpose. Ok, yeah, she is manipulative and pretty much wanted to dictate my life, but I understand her reasons, and now it seems she won't try anymore. She was clearly sad last night (night here) when we were talking of this again, it might be a trick, but I don't think so, she doesn't even want sex with me anymore despite being a nympho who just loves to go around poping virgins.

You are letting yourself be friend zoned.

I think you are getting it wrong, I am the one "friending" her. She wants to be "more than friends" and have control over my life while keeping her boyfriend, and I am the one who asked her to be just friends because I know I wouldn't be happy with the alternative.

[girl68]

This chick is nuts. I really think you need to drop this chick. She's giving you a distored perception of what friendship and relationship. She's being a terrible friend and a horrid gf. She's "perfect" for him? I'll bet if Mr. Perfect found out how she's a lying wannabe cheater he'd change his mind in a heartbeat.

This girl maybe your bestfriend but she doesn't deserve to be anyone's nothing with the way she's conducting herself.

[the_robot]

This chick is nuts. I really think you need to drop this chick. She's giving you a distored perception of what friendship and relationship. She's being a terrible friend and a horrid gf. She's "perfect" for him? I'll bet if Mr. Perfect found out how she's a lying wannabe cheater he'd change his mind in a heartbeat.

Umm.. he knows of me and he is ok with me even having sex with her.. it's pretty weird.. I don't get what's in the head of that guy... He even has contacted me when when she has been in the hospital to tell me about the situation and he is nice... really really weird. I kinda felt bad for being the one who had trouble with him having known of him since about a month after I met her...

[girl68]

WTFFFFFFF ohhhokay. Well then I guess I got nothing but this chick me thinks is still really going to screw you up!

[the_robot]

WTFFFFFFF ohhhokay. Well then I guess I got nothing but this chick me thinks is still really going to screw you up!

Can she do any harm without being able to "dictate" me what to do? I really hope she can't...

I think you all may be right and I should cut contact with her completely, so much people saying the same must have a point, but right now I don't think I'd be able to take it, I'm hurt by this, and last week I was considering suicide... this is more than what I can take right now already...