Can't find a girl at college and there's over 4,000!

[corey1985]

I don't have contact info on her but I see her every day at lunch and dinner and I live 100 ft away from her on campus.

Also most all singles girls on campus travel in packs of 7-8, they go to eat, to class, the bathroom,recreational activities, the library to study, they're never alone so that is the only reason I did that a few times to different girls.

[LailaK]

Look. I just gave you valid advice from the POV of a girl. Keep giving out your number to random chicks and approaching them in groups. I hope it works out well for you but I don't think it will.

[corey1985]

Look I'm confused, I told you like 5 times already I did that last week and it was only one time-I won't do it again, honest.

I just am looking for a way maybe I cantalk to her again since I don't have anything to lose.

[the_robot]

In the future, don't give a girl your number unless she's super confident and aggressive, she won't call you.

I've been told the attitude when going to talk to girls is important, that if you are confident and such you have better chances.

I just am looking for a way maybe I cantalk to her again since I don't have anything to lose.

My point before was that approaching girls in groups is harder, but if you can never approach her alone, you have no other option I guess...

[VincenzoG91]

There is a difference between seeming confident and seeming psycho, when it comes to the approach.

Confident would be approaching women at known meat market-type social setting, like a party or a bar, and talking to them.

Psycho would be aggressively approaching a woman in a non-social setting and basically saying, "Hi, I'm a complete and total stranger. Here is my phone number. Please call me so we can have a relationship together."

Do not skip over small talk and getting to know a woman before asking her out, or you will seem pyscho.

[LailaK]

Look I'm confused, I told you like 5 times already I did that last week and it was only one time-I won't do it again, honest.

I just am looking for a way maybe I cantalk to her again since I don't have anything to lose.

You gave her your number. I told you that was a mistake and that she wouldn't call you.

Unless a guy is Brad-freaking-Pitt those numbers go directly into the trash. You seem like you don't want to hear this, so whatever.

There is a big difference between chatting a girl up and asking for her number and walking up to a girl surrounded by her friends and throwing your own number at her. The first is a pretty normal action that allows the guy to call/text the girla later and continue to get to know her. What you did was lame, I don't know a nicer way to tell you this. You basically put the ball into her court before she was even interested. You need to be smoother, more charming and smarter about how you approach women. They aren't just going to fall all over you and want to get to know you because you walk into a room.

Anyway, I give up. I'm thinking you just don't get it. I wish you the best of luck though.

[corey1985]

Okay now I understand you because I thought you were thinking I was asking about giving her my number. Yeah, I'm sure the number went right in the trash and if there is no way of ever approaching her again then looks like I'm single for the rest of my college life because the only single girls I ever find always leave their dorms in groups and the only place I can chat it up is at the cafeteria where they are never alone not even for a second. I'm sorry if I annoyed you with my miscommunication. Girl rules are stressing me out and making me miserable so I guess I need to learn how to be single and happy.

[VincenzoG91]

What kind of college is this? When I was in college, the girls didn't travel exclusively in packs. Is there some kind of campus rapist scare going on? And there should be extra-curricular activities, where you can participate in stuff and also socialize with people. That would potentially be a good way to meet women and get to know them.

[Gigabitch]

You probably blew it with that girl. You can try again and ask for her number, but you're starting at a deficit with her and with any of her friends.

You said it yourself, there are 3999 others to choose from. Don't you sit by any girls in class? Couldn't you ask one of them?

[MissAnn]

Many people will probably disagree with this advice, but are you on facebook, or another similar site at all? I have met guys who I had classes with, or talked to casually at the gym or other social settings. They would friend me on facebook, and then kind of start chatting with me on there before asking me out. I am kind of shy, so it was a nice, comfortable way for me to get to know them before deciding if I wanted to go on a date with them or not.

I feel sorry for guys because approaching women has got to be difficult. On one hand, if you come on too strong, or out of blue just hand someone your number without talking to them at all, it can come across as creepy. On the other hand, if you get to know them too much, and aren't direct you can be put in the "friend zone". It is a difficult balance.

Personally, when guys have come up and immediately asked me out, or given me their number, I always have felt awkward about it, and have never called. I find it less scary if they chat a bit first. Even if it is about something stupid, like the weather. It gives me a sense of them as a person.

[corey1985]

It's a university in Minnesota and yes all single girls travel in packs and I have to keep messing up with a girl I am interested in because I am forced to trial and error it and so far have failed; the problem is what I know about this most recent girl I really liked and now since I blew it I'm totally depressed-I didn't intend for her to be one of the tests.

If you refer back to the last page I talk about my classes and how girls sit in packs in those or are so busy texting before class I can't even get their attention.

I don't know her name so finding her on Facebook is gonna be tough even though we likely have some mutual friends somewhere on campus-maybe I'll see her on someone else's list.

I'm just upset right now really bad because I thought I was impressing her by singling her out now I'm afraid if I talked to her I'd get a restraining order....

Thanks for your thoughts everyone, I really appreciate it!

[corey1985]

It's kind of funny, tonight for the first time since the beginning of the semster I saw this girl that eat alone that I had dinner with once and almost talked to her again but thought it would be too weird.

Also I sat next to the girl I gave my number too's friend while she was eating alone and I almost made small talk about her friend that I had film classes with but decided not oo-it's not a good idea to go through somebody else when you like someone but I figured if I show one of her friends I am a nice guy word will get around fat.

Anybody have that happen where you met someone through there friends finding out you were a cool person?

I'm really trying to learn this stuff; I just never had any positive male role models growing up.

[MissAnn]

It's kind of funny, tonight for the first time since the beginning of the semster I saw this girl that eat alone that I had dinner with once and almost talked to her again but thought it would be too weird.

Also I sat next to the girl I gave my number too's friend while she was eating alone and I almost made small talk about her friend that I had film classes with but decided not oo-it's not a good idea to go through somebody else when you like someone but I figured if I show one of her friends I am a nice guy word will get around fat.

Anybody have that happen where you met someone through there friends finding out you were a cool person?


I'm really trying to learn this stuff; I just never had any positive male role models growing up.

Maybe it would be easier to just meet a group of people, with both men and women, then focusing on one particular woman? Do you have any hobbies or play sports? A lot of times schools will have groups or sports leagues. I play indoor soccer, and can usually find co-ed league when moving to a new area. It is a great way to meet people, male and female, of all ages. I met a former boyfriend this way, and have made good friends as well.

[LailaK]

Don't give up. There are so many wonderful girls out there.

You've barely even talked to this girl and you don't know her name. She could be a crazy b**th for all you know.

If you read around the board, there are several posts (including some of my own) about unrequited interest or lust on this board. It happens. You just have to dust yourself and move on to the next beautiful being you meet. Don't give up, that's just silly.

[corey1985]

I don't play sports but I do want to join a student organization; the problem is that I work evenings after school alot so it's tought to find one I can join but I need to make good money to buy filmstock. Also I relaized that when I meet people in student orientation next fall I need to stay in contact more because everybody knows somebody I know and that seems it would be a good way to meet girls and get word around I'm a decent guy; I don't drink so that' why I don't meet girls at parties and LailaK I'll look for your posts.