i finished him

[cmacattack1]

When I read this thread title, I was expecting a detailed description of a really cool martial arts combo that left some dude dead or unconscious.

I have to admit I thought of Mortal Kombat. Some kids (me) never quite grow up to they?

For somebody that is so sensible and smart, your instincts are still pretty fight or flight. Good that you are trying to go fix things up. Six weeks is a bit of a short time but you should know better than to freak out and project those feelings onto him. Hopefully you are just telling him that you didn't see him like that at this point of time. It takes away the romance a bit but you are both adults, right?

[qwertz]

We made up, i told him why i freaked out and how i felt. He knows all about my past and said that he hadnt meant to tell me quite how he felt but it just kinda slipped out! Weve agreed to just carry on having fun and making each other happy on a day by day, week by week basis and what happens happens.

Phew, i feel much better now. He really does make me happy

[starbuck]

When I read this thread title, I was expecting a detailed description of a really cool martial arts combo that left some dude dead or unconscious.

The thread title brought up something slightly raunchier for me.

And I'm glad to hear that everything worked out, Qwerty. You deserve to be happy!

[SirWagginston]

Flawless victory!!!

[Mish]

I think I will go against the grain on this one and say that you are not ready for a relationship yet qwerty. Going out with this guy for 6 weeks in itself was a bad idea. You need some time alone until you've completely healed. Going into a relationship right now will only inflict pain on yourself and the guy (and possibly your kid). When you are not ready, you are not ready and you can't force yourself. It has to come naturally.

[misombra]

i completely disagree. qwerty needs to move on and give in. you can't let the past hold you down forever, and it will if you let it.

i think this guy is good for her. he's not trying to tie her down. he's just showing her a good time. even if it's not forever it's good for her to have a nice time.

[the_robot]

Yeah, I'm with misombra even though I don't know qwerty's history.. the guy makes her happy, and she obviously regretted "finishing him", it's not like he has told her to marry him, they are just having a good time together.

[Mish]

i completely disagree. qwerty needs to move on and give in. you can't let the past hold you down forever, and it will if you let it.

i think this guy is good for her. he's not trying to tie her down. he's just showing her a good time. even if it's not forever it's good for her to have a nice time.

I think the guy is good as well, but I have doubts that she is ready for it. Only a couple of months back she gave a very strong indication that she's not ready for a relationship, and won't be for awhile and that she hasn't yet healed. As such this could be a disaster in the making. Will those people who encourage qwerty now acknowledge their culpability if the disaster occurs? I somehow doubt it. It's good to move on, but it's also good to move on naturally and when the time is right.

I mean no disrespect, I hold qwerty in high regard. Which is why I'm posting this. It's something to bear in mind in the sea of approval.

[misombra]

I think the guy is good as well, but I have doubts that she is ready for it. Only a couple of months back she gave a very strong indication that she's not ready for a relationship, and won't be for awhile and that she hasn't yet healed. As such this could be a disaster in the making. Will those people who encourage qwerty now acknowledge their culpability if the disaster occurs? I somehow doubt it. It's good to move on, but it's also good to move on naturally and when the time is right.

I mean no disrespect, I hold qwerty in high regard. Which is why I'm posting this. It's something to bear in mind in the sea of approval.

i doubt this guy will cause anything near the disaster her last guy caused. she said she's not ready for a relationship and she told him that and he's still willing to be nice to her. qwerty has been through some shit and is strong and i think even if this guy lets her down it would still be worth it. sometimes we have to take some chances.

i know people who never heal from things others have done to them. i've seen such bitterness and anger be carried for decades. i would not like that to be qwerty. and with all the drama she's been through it's a possibility unless she lets her guard down.

[vashti]

You need some time alone until you've completely healed.

She isn't recovering from a simple break up. She is recovering from the loss of a CHILD. She is never gonna be completely healed. Do you seriously think she should never become involved with another man?

[Mish]

She isn't recovering from a simple break up. She is recovering from the loss of a CHILD. She is never gonna be completely healed. Do you seriously think she should never become involved with another man?

For as long as she has the feelings she posted in response to my posts a couple of months back she will not be ready for a relationship. I'm not quite sure what those feelings were related to, the loss of a child or a culmination of different elements. But to answer your question, if she is destined to always feel that way (and by that I mean some very strong anti-relationship feelings which I'm not going to quote) without a chance of recovery then she should never be involved in a relationship, as it will only bring misfortune to all parties involved. If there is a chance that in the future those feelings will go away, then she will be ready to start one. But not before then.

Ultimately qwerty is the only one who will know when she's ready. If she can honestly say to herself that right now and from this point onwards she's ready and all those feelings are now behind her, then she should go ahead by all means.

[Perryville]

Qwert,, Go out, have fun, get laid. The future will happen if you're enjoying life or not. But no strings, untill you put them on yourself.

[qwertz]

I think the guy is good as well, but I have doubts that she is ready for it. Only a couple of months back she gave a very strong indication that she's not ready for a relationship, and won't be for awhile and that she hasn't yet healed. As such this could be a disaster in the making. Will those people who encourage qwerty now acknowledge their culpability if the disaster occurs? I somehow doubt it. It's good to move on, but it's also good to move on naturally and when the time is right.

I mean no disrespect, I hold qwerty in high regard. Which is why I'm posting this. It's something to bear in mind in the sea of approval.

I know what you are saying. Before i started seeing this guy I didnt want a relationship, i didnt want anyone to get too close, I was/am scared of getting hurt and didnt feel i deserved to be happy.

But things change, and ive realised that no matter how much i dwell and feel sorry for myself, refusing to allow myself to be happy is not going to bring my daughter back. If i wait until the pain stops then i will be waiting forever as it wont ever stop hurting, but it will and is getting easier. This guy puts a smile on my face, and i put a smile on his. He knows everything about what happened and he is well aware that im still healing.
I dont know what the future holds for us, but i do know that since i have been with him, i feel happy and im living, rather than just existing.

And if it all goes tits up, then i will delete this thread

Oh and just to add..he isnt involved in my sons life as its way too soon. Whatever happens, my son wont get hurt

[sookie6]

Good for you Qwert,

this is a great thread asking and discussing issues that can help us all.

It'd be a shame to delete.

Godd luck to you!

[qwertz]

thanks sookie. I was only joking about deleting the thread. it feels good to feel good.