gf is maeking me miserable

[bryansk]

hi ladies

i have some probs with my gf of 3 years. heres some bg info: she is working, graduated with a ba and i am a senior in colleg. we currently dont live together and we spend a lot of time chatting on aim and on the phone because she lives in another city.

i did some bad things during our relationship and i think i should mention them first. first i added an ex on facebook and second i spent some time with a female friend behind her back. lets call that girl brittany. i never had anything with brittany, not even feelings for her. as for my ex, we only dated for a few weeks, we didnt even sleep together. me and brittany went to a museum together and a party. i also went to her bday party that had 50 people and bought her a cheap wine out of courtesy for invitation.

my gf was very upset that i added my ex on fb. i did it because we were arguing and she said some things to me that made me upset. i know i shouldnt have done it, but i apologized and i defriended her. i haven't had contact with my ex since then, but my gf has still not forgiven me and she brings it up every time she is mad. likewise with brittany. i stopped talking to britt because my gf demanded it. she never liked the idea of me having female friends, and when i told her i spent time behind her back with britt she flipped.

im finding myself unable to be honest with her about a few things. she gets angry when i spend time with my (guy) friends and when i go to bars. she accuses me of wanting other women and flirting with them, though i never have. she tells me to go **** them and to go date sluts and cheaters (making a reference to some of my exes) so i dont tell her about hanging out with friends or going out. it doesnt matter how nice i treat her or if i spend 6 hours a day talking to her. she always finds a reason to tell me to go **** a slut and things like that. she is always accusing me and always bringing up my past wrongdoings. sorry is never good enough. i just dont know what to do anymore. ive tried everything and we cant go a week without fighitng. weve been breaking up on and off for almost a year now because of all this. she keeps giving me silent treatment, and i dont know what to do.

[Gigabitch]

Really? You don't know what to do? I'll tell you what to do. Break up with her. She's horrible, and she's only going to get worse.

Yes, you lied to her and that destroyed the trust between you. Rebuilding that trust is a two-party effort. You have to NEVER lie and she has to try to trust you. You're both failing.

[the_robot]

She is no one to tell you who you can be friends with or what to do... I'm with Giga.

[girl68]

Say: "baby, I'm going to take your advice... I'm going to go f**k the slut, we're over" then walk away and don't look back. This bitch doesn't know the first thing about relationships. Gee I wonder why she doesn't date a man her own age. I'll tell you why a man would never put up with her shit.

[wondering3]

I was in the same boat..literally the exact same situration..my ex and i were together for 4 years..since sophomore year in high school..in high school she would always tell me what i was doing wrong, no matter how hard i tried..she always put me first over EVERYTHING, which i loved, but sometimes i would want to put my family first or my friends first, and this really annoyed her..anyway, in high school i put up with it because i was so in love with her..when college came around, this complaining became a lot more annoying..we were both at different schools, but we would see each other once a week or once every other week..when we didnt see each other, i would go out with my friends and this really annoyed her because when i was out i didnt want to spend the whole time texting her about what i was doing, so she would call and id end up spending the majority of the night apologizing for not paying enough attention to her..this got really old and for the last 6 months of our relationship we were on and off all the time..its now over, and i was doing really well after not talking to her for about a month..but she decided to contact me yesterday to see if we should give it one last try before we really move on..i guess thats why im back on here..

[Jas_mine]

She is being completely unreasonable and unfair. Unfortunately her insecurity will only worsen with time. What I find striking is that she has actually got you believing you did 'bad' things, you so didn't! I have exes from back in the day on my Facebook, it doesn't mean a thing. And she cannot dictate whom you can or can't speak to - your female friend was in your life way before her and will continue to be there long after she has gone. While I understand these can be sensitive issues to a less understanding individual, you should not be made to feel guilty about it, and you definitely should not have to resort to lying in order to do what you wish to without upsetting her or causing conflict.

You girl is massively consumed with jealousy - it may not even have a thing to do with you, it is possible that she was deeply hurt in the past and finds it difficult to trust, I think you should have a long talk with her and issue her with an ultimatum first before you decide to call it quits. I don't quite know if she is capable of change, worth a try though eh.