Whats love got to do with it?

[WorkInProgress]

Dated a wonderful woman for 3 months. First month was the most amazing time of my dating life. We were inseparable and agreed on everything. We talked for hours and had an uncanny amount of things in common... stretching from both our pasts to our present.

2nd month was a bit rocky, had our first fight and we just did not see eye to eye. But we talked and worked through the problems... or so we thought.

3rd month was a living hell. The more we talked the more we disagreed. How did we go from agreeing on everything that first month to agreeing on virtually nothing the last month? I would say she changes and I bet if you asked her she would say that I changed. Tried couples counseling, reading wordy books to no avail. In the end we communicated and resolved issues in two different ways, and our ways were explosive when combined.

I have learned much from the relationship... and what I learned is that I do not understand love at all and I have much to learn.

[Jas_mine]

I think you were mistaking love for whatever feelings you had. Not trying to sound patronising but having lots in common and talking for hours on end does not equate love. The fact that it started to fall apart in month two and was all over by month three confirms it. The first six months of most relationships is what is know as the honeymoon period - this is where you are madly into each other - puppy-dog eyes at each other, holding hands and skipping off into the sunset and all that, you know, where you can't keep your hands off each other, can talk on the phone all night and still not run out of things to say. It is after the first six months that the rose coloured spectacles come off and reality sets in, you start to see your partner as human, you know, with flaws, not as the person you idealised adoringly not so long ago. This is also where you truly realise the extent of your feelings, compatibility and such, whether the relationship has the potential to turn into something truly amazing or is just absolutely pants.

You will know true love when it evetually hits you, and don't worry, I assure you it will. And you will look back on this experience in horror and wonder how you ever held it in such high regards.

Oh and counselling when you have only been dating for three months? For real?! That is a clear indication if any! Seems like you desperately wanted it to work and went to great lengths in order to try, I mean, I commend you for your effort but sometimes you should just know it's not working and should just let it go. Don't dwell on it too much, we aren't compatible with everyone, sometimes it just doesn't happen for whatever reason, sometimes personalities and values just clash, nobody's fault really, just the way the cookie crumbles.

[WorkInProgress]

Jas_mine

Good advice, thanks for the input. I am already starting to see my folly. The good times with her were wonderful, I guess I was desperately trying to hold onto that.

[Martin84]

Sex probably had something to do with it. Sometimes, people lose attraction after they have had their way physically. I would not be surprised if you told me that you did not have sex for the first month that you dated.