In Love With Two Sisters - What do I do?

[LoveParalysis]

Background
I am 36 and have been with Amy since I was 16. I have never even considered any other woman since.........except her older sister Anita who came to live with us 6 years ago and stayed for 2 years.

About Amy
Naturally pretty,very caring, worships me, very loving and an all round fabulous person. Downside is that she is very needy, we have developed very different needs from life and we are an intelectual mismatch. Homemaker.

About Anita
Can look average or stunning, but mostly stunning because she takes care of herself and is always 'well turned out'. A bit selfish but can be very kind and has an uncanny nack of knowing what makes me tick. Sometimes cold, sometimes very hot, I never know how she will be. However, we never get tired of each others company. Career Woman.

About Me
Not good looking but somehow have never been short of female suitors. Always been 100% faithful. Amy's happiness means everything to me but the spark (mentally and sexually) has totally gone for me but not her. I am constantly wanting to be with Anita and feel partly empty when she is not around. I have massive chemistry with Anita and I am strongly sexually attracted to her. However, we do have some volatile moments together because we are both dominant and opinionated. We are quick to make up though.

Question for You?
Please help with a straightforward answer! They have fell out because I told Amy about my feelings for Anita. I have not seen Anita for 3 months and find myself resenting Amy for it. But the thoughts of devasting Amy by making a play for Anita is preventing me from making any decision so I am stuck in 'no man's land' existing but not living. I have three options 1. Try to recapture my 'in love' for Amy (last had 6 years ago) 2. Leave to go live on my own away from both of them (not sure I have the strenght to follow through on this) 3. Leave Amy and make a move with Anita (heart misses a beat at the thought of this)?

I need a womans perspective, please help and don't hold back!

[lahnnabell]

What were you thinking was going to happen when you told Amy about your feelings for her sister? That you could all have some hot threesome together? Or that Amy would just gladly step aside and let you pursue her sister? Get your head on straight, man. What exactly were you trying to accomplish?

You need to take a long break and figure out what the hell you want. Amy has devoted herself to you and you've been lying to her about your feelings for the last 6 years. Can you imagine how much that must hurt her? You have no right to resent Amy. Anita probably took off because she refuses to dishonor her sister and figured it best to stay out of the picture. Smart woman.

I notice you find the fact that Amy "worships you" as a positive attribute in her. This viewpoint you have is entirely disrespectful and you sound selfish (your actions have proven it to be true). You should let both of these women go and work on yourself. You stayed with Amy since you were 16 so you've had no chance to experience anything else, and now here are you at 36, itching for something new. Best go elsewhere to find it.

[sookie6]

Yes young love is cute but damaging I believe in the end.

Is there some children involved in all this?

Your first mistake all of you is the idea that you could happily share a home (2 attractive woman and one man).

How sick is this. Even in flat sharing when a long term couple sees the arrival of an extra attractive female...there is ground for problems...

The guy is bored and whatever bickering he has with his gfriend he'll be very likely to indulge in daydreaming about a woman who is so 'reachable' but still uknown territory.

I saw a documentary once looking at men's behaviour with women from an animal angle. It is instictive for men once they know one woman to be attracted to other women.

I mean we experience this everyday. Past the honeymoon period it's not uncommon to see bfriends looking at other women in the street...

There is nothing much we can do about it. Nothing wrong with looking. But when it's served to you on a plate...no wonder you find yourself in a tricky situation.

[LailaK]

Wow. You are willing to ruin the relationship between 2 sisters for your own selfish stupid reasons. You are willing to throw away the love of someone who "worships" you so you can bang her sister.

That's gross. If I were either of them I'd have nothing to do with you.

[Gigabitch]

Put all thoughts of Anita out of your mind. That's forbidden territory and you know it.

You might find you're able to be happy with Amy if you actually try. Instead of letting your eye wander to other women, try focusing on her and see what happens. You need some emotional discipline, that's all.

[dewilliams2]

Well right now your on a path of being alone...in the end they are sisters and most likely will stick together.

I'd kiss some major ass with your wife and maybe see marriage counseling...tell her you want it to work between you but that there are some aspects of your relationship your struggling with....as for Anita forget about her and hope that the sisters can patch it up and maybe after a few years you all can be together with no awkwardness.

Or as I said you could walk away from both of them and hope that your supply of females holds out.

[doppelgaenger]

Man, you're ****ed. She'll never forgive you for this. You ****ed yourself out of some steady pussy!

Don't pursue either one of them. If Amy comes back to you, and you feel like it's worth another shot, go for it. Otherwise, go the single route.

[Jas_mine]

Tut tut. Option two methinks. It is only fair that you remove yourself from the equation.

Yes, you are completely selfish but I cannot condemn or slate you for the way you feel, it's not your fault, it's nobody's fault really. Unfortunately sometimes the spark just fades, especially if you are both not actively working at your relationship. It was absolutely wrong for you to start fanatsising about the sister though, what makes you think she is even interested?! It is human nature to want what we can't have but unfortunately the grass is not always greener, as I am sure you have heard a gadzillion times before.

What you have done though is ruined whatever relationship the two sisters shared, not to mention the fact that you have hurt Amy deeply - she deserves better and if you agree then you should walk away from her, just let her be. If you are not attracted to her anymore and don't have any feelings of a romantic nature then stop kidding yourself as well as her. I don't like your 'if I can't have Anita then oh well, guess I will make do with Amy' mentality - it's shocking! You need to stop stringing Amy along, at the same time you musn't just settle for somebody out of guilt or pity, you will only regret it and spend many years wondering 'what if?'. Do not confine yourself to an unsatisfactory and unhappy relationship. For the sake of the interests of all those concerned in this triangle, forget both sisters is what I suggest. Good luck dude.