Why do men do stupid stuff?

[doppelgaenger]

He was probably joking, but it was a stupid joke and he really didn't think much about your feelings before posting that.

[vashti]

I agree it wasn't the brightest of moves, but since it was on a public wall for everyone to see, I think you are overreacting.

[Aeradalia]

If you wanted someone as considerate and thoughtful as yourself, you'd be a lesbian.

Lesbians aren't the holy grail of relationships... one's "partner" can still suffer from foot-in-mouth disease.

[LailaK]

I don't think you're overreacting. If it hurt your feelings, it hurt your feelings and he needs to know that so he doesn't do it again. That's what honesty in a relationship is all about.

Overreacting would have included:

- Accusing him of cheating
- Breaking up with him
- Finding some random dude on FB to publicly flirt with

You didn't do any of those things so he should be thanking his lucky stars that you're not crazy.

[Cbrider]

Summon a monsoon on his plantation in Farmville - that'll teach him.

No, but honestly, yeah it was a stupid move and he gets that now. I would imagine the fact that he hasn't had you physically in his presence for 3 months has made him a little more "cut-loose" so to speak. I don't mean that in a bad way, I'm just not sure how to better explain it. :-/

[lilly1185]

Technology and the ability to broadcast one's personal thoughts via the web in the matter of seconds has made people ****ing retarded.

I'm guilty of it too on occasion, but never to the extent to make my S/O think I was checking out some other person. Or marrying them.
Everyone has a sense of what's right and wrong, although I'm siding a bit with CBrider here. When you're away from that special someone, you tend to mentally check out of that mindset that you have to "behave". It's by no means an excuse, but if he's seriously kidding, and you don't get that gut-wrenching feeling something is amiss I'd write it off.
Though I would be curious if any of his friends splattered her wall with similar comments, just to check out the theory.
I'm suspicious like that though.

You didn't make a federal case out of it, so props to you.

[lahnnabell]

I don't think you're overreacting. If it hurt your feelings, it hurt your feelings and he needs to know that so he doesn't do it again. That's what honesty in a relationship is all about.

Overreacting would have included:

- Accusing him of cheating
- Breaking up with him
- Finding some random dude on FB to publicly flirt with

You didn't do any of those things so he should be thanking his lucky stars that you're not crazy.

Yeah, I knew that getting made from the outset would only cause more problems. After he explained things, I got a little silent as I was mulling things over. He asked me if I was okay besides the fact that I thought he was running all over Mexico proposing to every girl he meets. I told him, "Hey hey (pump the breaks on the sarcasm, boy), I didn't know what all that was. It looked really sketchy out of context. So I decided to ask before I got all crazy about it." He said, "Ok. I understand." And I thanked him for explaining everything.

We Skyped later yesterday and he proceeded to gush about how much he misses me and how beautiful he thinks I am and how lucky he is. He brought the issue back up and said, "Yeah, I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to write that inside joke out. It certainly does look sketchy out of context, I'm sorry." I forgave him of course, and we actually ended up laughing about it afterward. We Skyped until I started to fall asleep on video chat.

And he is thankful that I'm not crazy. The last couple of girls he's been involved with were absolutely psychotic. I've had exes go through my shit before and do lame stalkery stuff. How they think I wouldn't have found out about it was beyond me. My computer does log the usage history.

But things are good now, guys. Thanks for the insight and support.

[lahnnabell]

Lesbians aren't the holy grail of relationships... one's "partner" can still suffer from foot-in-mouth disease.

I think the implication was that women tend to be more thoughtful in their actions and can better foresee how those actions affect others, whereas a guy might make a decision to do something without considering if it might affect anyone besides himself. There are exceptions though.

[Envy]

Only afterwards you think "$^£&!" when you realise. It seems a good idea at the time.

Although the marriage joke, lol! Call him an idiot and get him to owe you a nice dinner out to make up for it when he gets back

[davidtorres]

^^ People can and often engage mouth and before brain.

true but if you are inlove with a person , care about that person, respects that person then you wouldnt pull that stupid, rude and disrespectful shit. you would put yourself on her/gf situation before you open your mouth. what is he a kid? he cant use his brain before he does stupid crap.

[lahnnabell]

Haha, like I said, he can be downright clueless sometimes. He's usually incredibly thoughtful, but I think, like Cbrider said, the distance compounded with the length of time we've been away from each other, has put us under some strain. I know I've certainly been starved for some male attention, but I've been a good girl, and I know my guy is very loyal as well.

If I didn't trust him this would have been way more of an issue. I also think that his brain didn't make the connections that mine made when we read what he wrote. I think all he knew was that he and his buddies thought it was a funny situation. Since the situation had nothing to do with me really, he didn't feel that I would be affected by it at all. We gotta admit ladies, our minds can go in some pretty warped directions sometimes, and most guys I know have trouble following my train of thought.

Like Laila said, had I done something crazy it would have only made the situation worse and more painful for the both of us. And my guy isn't the type of guy that will try and make sorry-ass excuses for himself, especially if he knows something he's done has hurt me. We dealt with it head-on together and it got resolved in no time.

[Gigabitch]

Lesbians aren't the holy grail of relationships... one's "partner" can still suffer from foot-in-mouth disease.

It's true. Both genders can suffer from Manthrax.

[Smiletone]

Stupid ppl do stupid stuff! lol