My friend...

[qwertz]

My best friend made a move on me at the weekend. He has been my friend since school, we have always been close- but just as friends nothing more.
This weekend we were out and he tried to kiss me, i pulled away instantly and asked what the hell he was doing. He apologised but things were really awkward afterwards so i made my excuses and left. We havent spoken since- which is nothing unusual for a few days or so.

Im really not sure how to handle this. I dont want to lose him as a friend- and he really is a great friend, but i dont want him to think that anything more can come from our friendship and i really didnt realise that he wanted more..though im not sure he does- he may think it was a mistake on his part?? and also he is in the middle of a messy breakup so that may have something to do with it.
Jeez, i dont know whether to just act normal and carry on as though it didnt happen, or whether to mention it- but i dont want to make things awkward for him if he already feels bad about it?

I just want my friend back

[dono01]

Honestly, he most likely is getting some kind of vibe from you that you might be interested. Unless a guy is very bold, he will not usually go as far as trying to kiss his friend unless he has some "reason" to. I am not saying you are intentionally giving him a reason to, but maybe you just being there with him through his breakup is giving him some kinda of signal?

Anyway, you know what I am saying? For some reason, words are not working well for me today.

[qwertz]

Yeh i get what you mean, but we have been friends for over 10 years- in that time we have both been single and in a relationship with other people. Im not acting any differently to how I always have.

[dono01]

Well, you MUST be doing something...

I was friends with a girl for 14 years, and decided all of a sudden that I wanted to date her.

[vashti]

In my experience, male friends almost always want something more.

Unless they are gay.

I would probably wait for him to contact you, and follow his lead.

[qwertz]

Well, you MUST be doing something...

I was friends with a girl for 14 years, and decided all of a sudden that I wanted to date her.

Im racking my brains thinking if i have done/acted differently- but i havent. I DONT want a relationship with him, or do anything more than friends.

Why did you 'all of a sudden' decide you wanted to date her?

[qwertz]

In my experience, male friends almost always want something more.

.

I just dont understand, if thats true, then why now?!

[vashti]

I just dont understand, if thats true, then why now?!

He's probably thought about it a lot over the time you've known him, but either you were attached, or he was, or the timing wasn't right, or he had to work up his nerve....

[qwertz]

He's probably thought about it a lot over the time you've known him, but either you were attached, or he was, or the timing wasn't right, or he had to work up his nerve....

I really hope you are wrong and it was just a spur of the moment kind of thing that he regrets!

[dono01]

Yeah, listen to vashti.

Girls don't realize how hard it is for most guys to even approach them. It's kind of ridiculous if you really take a look at it. But he has prolly had the "hots" for you for quite sometime but didn't want it to get int he way of the friendship. Maybe now since his relationship is going down the tubes he is suddenly being reminded of those feelings for you. Nothing spectacular has to happen. You're his friend that's always been there. Maybe it took all this time to work up the nerve, or maybe in his "breakup" he is reminded of how great you are and so he decides that there is no better time than now?

[dewilliams2]

It took me 10 years to figure out that I was in love with my friend...but I was a kid when I met her and when I always knew she was amazing I never realized how I felt. One day I woke up and it hit me and it was the most amazing realization I have ever had.

So maybe he just never realized how he felt....its sort of like not seeing what is right in front of you...or looking for your sunglasses that are on your head.

Are you sure you have absolutely no feelings for the guy? When I first talked to my gf about it she said she didn't want to risk our friendship but like I said I would rather gamble the friendship for something even more special with her than just remain friends and never know. Of course we had already had sex several times since we were kids so there really wasn't a huge leap into a relationship for us....it was actually a pretty smooth transition.

[Gigabitch]

Qwerty, a woman who looks like you should understand it's unreasonable to expect any man to have solely platonic feelings for her. Sorry, babe, but you're too hot to be just friends with any guy.

[qwertz]

He is just a friend- and has always been just that. He is amazing and has helped me through and been there for me through a LOT of shit in my life. No way in a million years would i jeapordise such a good friendship.
This wont go any further- I just hope he doesnt want it to.

[the_robot]

Talk to him, maybe it was just the moment thing... I can't agree with Vashti, some guys don't want more than friends with some females, I know because I am one of those.

[vashti]

Talk to him, maybe it was just the moment thing... I can't agree with Vashti, some guys don't want more than friends with some females, I know because I am one of those.

Don't make us all hold you down and kiss you.