Double standards

[Incognito]

Ok double standards exist on both sides of the male/female line. Many of these double standards slight women like the weight issue, or attractiveness, or income. There is one however that has never made sense to me that many women defend tooth and nail. It is the issue of physical violence (and even abuse).

Before I say anything else I'll point out that women gained the rights to vote, work, and generally be equal some years ago. It is generally accepted that chivalry is dead, and many women say "good riddens". Men and women are generally accepted as equals in all facets of life, generally. Despite this many women say that a man should NEVER hit a woman back if struck by one and should just walk away even if struck in the most disrespectful way in front of anyone or even in private. While I have never beat up a woman (or struck a woman) I think that the notion is bullshit. Back when "ladies" were considered weak and didn't have any rights whatsoever it made perfect sense, but not nowadays. I feel that if you step to me like a man I'll put you down like a man. I call it equal opportunity ass whooping. I made sure my wife knew that long ago, not as a threat, but as a simple truth. I firmly believe that if I hadn't made that clear that she'd have put her hands on me a few times, and it wouldn't have ended well.

Ok, so I know that I'll probably be crucified for bringing this up by the very women that I mentioned earlier who are so in favor of upholding this double standard, but I'd like to know why this still exists. What sense does it make? How is it rational to be equal, then fall back on this 'you can't hit a girl' notion?

*Just for further clarification I am speaking ONLY of a man hitting a woman AFTER she has landed the first blow*

[lahnnabell]

No one should resort to physical violence as a method to solving a problem. People who are unaware of how their actions affect others fail to understand that the physical violence is not truly solving the actual problem.

Let's say a woman is upset because she found out her husband cheated. She flies into a rage, screaming and cursing. He slaps her to shut her up. He has lost control of the situation and needs to exert his physical power over her to feel right about what he's done. The real problem is the cheating. He is in the wrong. Instead of owning up to having made a mistake, he is seeking to absolve himself by making HER wrong. i.e. "You are wrong to yell at me. You deserved to get hit for yelling at me like that. I have the power to hurt you, and that makes me stronger than you." It's a power struggle.

I went through this with my dad while I was a teenager. We were talking about my school performance and I was doing my best to maintain a clear head. I wanted him to see that I was mature and that we could discuss things without yelling (which is what he often resorted to). He threatened to hit me when he realized I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of letting him under my skin. We were in a struggle for power. I merely wanted control over my own reactions but he nevertheless felt threatened by that. I remember when he used to yell at me until I crumbled into a ball, crying. My tears were never because I actually felt bad for having done something wrong, but because I feared what he would do if I didn't give him the power he wanted.

[EndlessRomantic]

Totally agree with you. A woman hitting a guy is very disrespectfull. I don't hit women, and I expect to be treated the same. as liz lemon would say "DealBreaker". Of course, a playful nudge on the shoulder doesn't fall under this rule

[Gigabitch]

If you "playfully nudged" me on the shoulder you'd never do it again, I guarantee you.

I think anyone hitting anyone is unacceptable. Always.

[Junket]

I can't see me being in a situation where a woman would feel the need to hit me.

Were that the case though she might be begging for a swift punt to the cunt.

[Sonrisa]

Back when "ladies" were considered weak and didn't have any rights whatsoever it made perfect sense, but not nowadays. I feel that if you step to me like a man I'll put you down like a man. I call it equal opportunity ass whooping. I made sure my wife knew that long ago, not as a threat, but as a simple truth. I firmly believe that if I hadn't made that clear that she'd have put her hands on me a few times, and it wouldn't have ended well.

i guess nowadays we are all superwomen. that kinda explains why your wife despises you. i know i would. any guy who would ever say something like that is a pussy in MY eyes.

[lahnnabell]

I would never marry anyone I suspected would resort to violence as a means to resolve an issue. Hopefully one would discover such tendencies in their partner BEFORE they get married.

[Sonrisa]

i call bullshit on most people who said that they never hit another human being. i know i have. so what? they deserved it.

[Gigabitch]

I kickboxed for years. Of course I've hit other people. I would NEVER hit my husband, though God knows I've wanted to, and it's not because I'm afraid of him. It's because that would be unacceptable.

[lahnnabell]

I slapped a guy once. It was a boyfriend after I found out he'd cheated on me. I still don't condone hitting under any circumstances and have not committed an act like that since.

[Sonrisa]

I slapped a guy once. It was a boyfriend after I found out he'd cheated on me. I still don't condone hitting under any circumstances and have not committed an act like that since.

exactly, i hit a guy when found out that he was cheating on me. once again he deserved it. what if that asshole gave me an std or something? don't you think you deserve to hit a person who causes harm to your body?

[Tiay]

hmm recently me and my .. guy? damn it, I don't want to call him boyfriend. Guy-i'm-casually-seeing/hanging-out-with.. >.> ok, he needs a forum name.

anyway, we were watching this movie with a bunch of bounty hunters and one of them is this girl who is all tough and such. A guy teases her about that and insults her, and she just looks up and punches him in the face, breaking his nose- and he wasn't some nerd, he was a well built guy. It was a scene that kinda established her "bad ass" cred. But after we watched the movie, we were saying.. if the genders had been reversed, that wouldn't be considered a "cool" thing to do.

why?

dunno. but I figure it might have something to do with the fact that women are generally weaker than guys. Not all of them, of course.. and winning a fight also has to do with training and agility rather than pure strength... But in general, I'd say the majority of boyfriends could physically overpower their girlfriends.
So it's not a matter of intelligence like voting or working, etc, is. It's just an unchanging fact. So maybe the idea that guys shouldn't hit girls stems from this? ideas?

[lahnnabell]

hmm recently me and my .. guy? damn it, I don't want to call him boyfriend. Guy-i'm-casually-seeing/hanging-out-with.. >.> ok, he needs a forum name.

anyway, we were watching this movie with a bunch of bounty hunters and one of them is this girl who is all tough and such. A guy teases her about that and insults her, and she just looks up and punches him in the face, breaking his nose- and he wasn't some nerd, he was a well built guy. It was a scene that kinda established her "bad ass" cred. But after we watched the movie, we were saying.. if the genders had been reversed, that wouldn't be considered a "cool" thing to do.

why?

dunno. but I figure it might have something to do with the fact that women are generally weaker than guys. Not all of them, of course.. and winning a fight also has to do with training and agility rather than pure strength... But in general, I'd say the majority of boyfriends could physically overpower their girlfriends.
So it's not a matter of intelligence like voting or working, etc, is. It's just an unchanging fact. So maybe the idea that guys shouldn't hit girls stems from this? ideas?

Agreed. However, it is a misconception that all women do not have the power to damage men. Maybe we can't always do as much physical damage with our own bare hands as a man could, but it doesn't mean the abuse won't leave invisible scars. This is the main reason I do not condone physical violence. If I am ever physically threatened though, you best believe whoever it is will see just how much damage I can do. If it becomes a case of me or them, it's ALWAYS me.

[Sonrisa]

hmm recently me and my .. guy? damn it, I don't want to call him boyfriend. Guy-i'm-casually-seeing/hanging-out-with.. >.> ok, he needs a forum name.

anyway, we were watching this movie with a bunch of bounty hunters and one of them is this girl who is all tough and such. A guy teases her about that and insults her, and she just looks up and punches him in the face, breaking his nose- and he wasn't some nerd, he was a well built guy. It was a scene that kinda established her "bad ass" cred. But after we watched the movie, we were saying.. if the genders had been reversed, that wouldn't be considered a "cool" thing to do.

why?

dunno. but I figure it might have something to do with the fact that women are generally weaker than guys. Not all of them, of course.. and winning a fight also has to do with training and agility rather than pure strength... But in general, I'd say the majority of boyfriends could physically overpower their girlfriends.
So it's not a matter of intelligence like voting or working, etc, is. It's just an unchanging fact. So maybe the idea that guys shouldn't hit girls stems from this? ideas?

that's exactly what i meant, no matter what rights we have, physically we will always be weaker than men.

[SirWagginston]

I went through this with my dad while I was a teenager. We were talking about my school performance and I was doing my best to maintain a clear head. I wanted him to see that I was mature and that we could discuss things without yelling (which is what he often resorted to). He threatened to hit me when he realized I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of letting him under my skin. We were in a struggle for power. I merely wanted control over my own reactions but he nevertheless felt threatened by that. I remember when he used to yell at me until I crumbled into a ball, crying. My tears were never because I actually felt bad for having done something wrong, but because I feared what he would do if I didn't give him the power he wanted.

That sucks... your dad sounds like a douche. I don't think I ever would have put up with that. My dad never got angry like that, but when drunk we would play fight a lot. Sometimes, when I was younger, he would keep holding me down after I gave up, just to tease me. Once or twice, I couldn't breathe, and I really DID need him to get off, but he was "not falling for it." And so, I punched him full force in the nads. Father learned.