i'm in the worlds toughest situation :(

[hobby22]

hello i'm rob.

i'll get right into it. i've been with my current gf for 4 years now and we got engauged in feb on valintines day.
it was me who proposed down on one knee and everything.

i ask for you not to judge me!

for the past 8 months i have not been happy with her at all. she makes me sad, doens't entertain me and i find myself become depressed the more i stay with her at the fact i just dont like her in the same way i did. i know i dont love her anymore because of i have had feelings for other people and i just dont think of her as a gf anymore r even a lover. just another freind.
your probably asking why i asked her to marry me. its because i wanted to make her happy and i guess thats why i have stayed with her. i feel guilty for leading her on.

i'm very selfless i never think of myself and i think thats why i'm in this situation! i'm so unhappy i dont want to spend time with her at all yet she is over the moon for me. sending me texts how she loves me every day and is so excited at the thought of marrying me.
we where planning for the wedding (which is meant to be in 2012) and now her perants have booked a venue at 2.5k deposit!

i want to leave her but i dont hate her. i cant stand the thought of making her cry or making her unhappy. i'm scared because her perants will go absolutly mental at me and i'll ow them money and i dont want my gf to leave uni from beign so unhappy as she lives away from home.
i dont know what to do at all.
i want to end it but i dont want to hurt the poor girl

what the hell can i say or do to make this situation better? i understand i've been an ideot.

rob x

[Gigabitch]

If you're so selfless, think about how you're getting in the way of her finding someone who actually loves her, instead of someone who is wasting her time and dicking her around.

You're the jerk, here, not the hero.

[qwertz]

-your with her only to make her happy?
-You plan a wedding that you dont want and have no real intention of letting happen
-you let her folks pay a deposit for it
-you have feelings for other people

Yeh, you keep telling yourself you are so selfless.

You have no backbone or balls. THAT is selfish.

[hobby22]

i'm not dicker her about but i see where you are coming from.

never said i was the hero either. i know i am probably just "wasting her time" but at the same time i dont want to hurt her.
i know she wont move on for a very long time.

i dont have feeling for anyone now it was just a crush for a few weeks.

and i didnt let them. they just did it without letting me know.
and i will happly pay them back anyway.

i'm just worried about hurting her.

[Gigabitch]

Either put her first or put yourself first. You can't do both.

[hobby22]

i guess not.

i just have no idea what to say or even how to say it. never broke up with a girl before always been them with me.

[lahnnabell]

How long have you been feeling this way toward your girlfriend?

[the_robot]

i just have no idea what to say or even how to say it. never broke up with a girl before always been them with me.

I may know no shit about these things, but I think proposing to her when you didn't want her anymore was the WORSE move you could possibly make if you didn't want to hurt her.

[xxazurexx]

And this is the worlds toughest situation is it?

Uhm, don't think so.

Kindest thing to do, would be too end things with her.

She will get over it eventually and find some guy worthy of her.

[hobby22]

well to me its the words toughest situation.

and i've been feeling this way for a while i just didnt realise it. i thought it was just a phase or something.

[xxazurexx]

Just noticed you have been with her four years.

I guess it's not unusual to fall out of love with people, happens all the time. We can't force attraction and if it's not there/no longer there.
It's how you deal with it that matters and like I said, rather than keep up the pretence and continue to string her along, you are best coming clean and as soon as possible.

You owe her that at least.

[Kaius]

Don't marry her. Break off the engagement. Right now you feel less love for her, but over time you will begin to really resent her. Things don't get better after you get married. It turns into a new level of tolerance, understanding and compatibility.
You shouldn't have these feelings when you plan to marry someone. It's so unfair to her. Think of the hurt you will inflict when she finds out you don't even love her that way. Cut loose now. It might be painful, but she will survive....and be happier later.
Don't ruin her life man...you owe it to her. Set her free. As Giga so nicely put it, you are preventing her from finding someone who can love her in every way. The worst thing you can do is to marry her without loving her. You might as well kill her.

[Jas_mine]

You are going to hurt her either way dude. Best to break it off now rather than play along with the whole charade, enter a loveless marriage and then a quickie divorce. Yes, she's probably going to hate you, actually come to think of it she's most definitely going to hate you but you should put a stop to it before she gets further carried away with the wedding plans and her folks waste even more money, the longer you put it off the worse it will get for everybody involved.

That or you could fake your own death!

[asdfg789]

you could fake your own death!

+1 :d