wondering

[ryan99999]

yeah. is there any way this can go with her not being hurt? i really do like her.

[dono01]

yeah. is there any way this can go with her not being hurt? i really do like her.

Well, I hate to break the news to you, but you're going to hurt her one way or another.

_______________

[ryan99999]

hmm. @dono01 u might be right.... i'm gonna think this over. If anyone else has an input feel free to leave it.

[dono01]

Ryan, if you look at the situation stripped from the emotion it reads as follows.

There are only 2 routes to take.

If you leave her, you'll obviously hurt her.

If you stay with her, you'll hurt her too, because of what you are thinking. It will always come out in one form or another. ALWAYS.

And judging by what you have already said, if you really love her, you'll either "look past" the ugly face, or you'll let her go realizing that she deserves way better.

[ryan99999]

i've decided to "look past" her looks, and try to make myself the better person. i hope i succeed, more than anything right now.

[Gigabitch]

A little advice, then: don't EVER tell her you didn't find her 100% attractive at first. If, in two years, you're madly in love with her and you confess this little tidbit, it will hurt her much more than not calling her back for a second date now.

[ryan99999]

thank u, for that tidbit. And to all of you. Hopefully when i come back to this site, i'll be that better person, and able to help others, like you all did for me.

[ryan99999]

Sry, bout the double post, just wanted to say we're through, for now. She decided she wasn't ready for a relationship, but we're still friends, and might try again in the future. Can't say i didn't have that coming. Still thx for all the advice.

[girl68]

Well that happens too...

Giga is 100% right don't you dare ever repeat that your gf (potential, future, current) has an ugly face. That is just mean and there isn't a darn way around it.

[ryan99999]

well, i just wish this wouldn't make our friendship awkward for a while, though i can already tell that boat has sailed. I mean, yeah i'm disappointed, but well, it's her choice, not mine. Thx. And btw i never intend to, sounds like a death warrant to me (at least for the relationship). i know i'll never feel conflicted over my original problem again at least.

[girl68]

Of COURSE it will affect the friendship. Can't be too surprised about that. Anyways, just move on.

[Kaius]

I have dated unattractive women before, and for some reason they become more attractive as I grow more fond of them.
You'd be surprised. Before you know it, you would see her as quite pretty....because you like her so much.
She might even be good in bed, which will just turn you into her slave. Best of luck, lad.

[Kaius]

Oh let me add..... I met a beautiful woman when I was 19. We dated long-distance for 4 years. I ended up marrying her, had 2 kids, and divorcing after 12 years of marriage.
She was no doubt physically attractive to me, but as I understood her as a person, she gradually became uglier to me. She hurt me badly over the years, and I resented her.
She wanted sex, and I turned her down every time during the last 2 years of our marriage. Physically she did not change at all, but she was ugly to me. I couldn't sleep with
a woman I resented.

So in the end, looks can only go so far. You need to reconsider.