My bf brokeup with me coz his love on martial arts much greater than anything

[VincenzoG91]

Even if he shows up outside your window holding a boom box over his head, you might want to just move on. He told you about the kiss, but maybe there were other things he didn't tell you about.

Some guys will Say Anything.

[lahnnabell]

Even if he shows up outside your window holding a boom box over his head, you might want to just move on. He told you about the kiss, but maybe there were other things he didn't tell you about.

Some guys will Say Anything.

You had to go there, huh?

[exprezo]

Thanks a lot. After the kissing issue, it got me thinking about whatever he told me he needs private time, martial arts, passion, etc MAY or may NOT be true. No doubt I know he does have the passion in it so much but....now his action of kissing another woman, is it telling me he tries to start something new? No time for me? But got time for her?

I am.....argghhh....LOST! My soul is not with me, I am hurt. Really? He really did it? I love him and it's hard for me to accept that. I cannot work, canot think..what can I do..........he betrayed me

[lahnnabell]

Did you ask him that question? "You don't have time for me, but you have time to make plans with another woman and kiss her?" I want to know the answer to that question.

[bah]

I feel really bad for you. Your situation gave mine hope.

I think it is shitty what he did. Downtime is no excuse to go exploring greener pastors. It is really up to you if you want to get past this with him. Frankly, you need to discover if his getting back with you is a result of his guilt from this kiss.

Maybe it's time you told HIM you need time and disappear for ten days?

[lahnnabell]

No one should be exploring pastors of any color! I think you mean "pastures".

[bah]

No one should be exploring pastors of any color! I think you mean "pastures".

LMAO!!! Yes. Too funny!
Now leave alien preachers alone please LOL.

[exprezo]

To: BAH

I am in a very...sad condition now n don think I can do the 10-day disappearing. I duno what other contsructive ways to deal with him n myself anymore. I guess I will stick around and analyze the future situation, analyze WHY he came back to me and if his behavior is suspicious or not.

Nevertheless..... definitely my feeling is not the same. I STILL love him, but I mean my trust n how I see him have changed. Actually, I am like idle mode now...maybe still shock to believe? I think if next I cannot get over this kissing thing I will slowly "withdraw". I know myself...sometimes if I put so harsh on myself like "breakup NOW" i will be devastated. I am weak in this area but learning stronger everyday. Last night I asked him if I am just one of his dates or what and he told me I am his GF definitely and A SERIOUS GF. Am I dumb to buy into that idea?
Bah, I am sure your relationship will have better hope than mine. As long as the guy does not cheat...I think everything else can be worked out.

Reply: VincenzoG91 I actually understand and agree with you.......but...now I am too weak to make that decision

Reply to lahnnabell's I didnt ask him that question? "You don't have time for me, but you have time to make plans with another woman and kiss her?" I was not thinking...too shocked when he told me out of the blue. But I think when I have a chance I want to find out more but timing...coz I cannot keep asking him about it the next time we hangout.

Is it so hard for guys to commit and faitful? Argghh!

[lahnnabell]

He's suddenly trying to satisfy your concerns by simply telling you that you're a serious girlfriend now, when just a week ago he was confused and needed space? No, I wouldn't buy it either. He hasn't shown you that he's serious about you at all right now. Don't let him get away with just talking at you. He needs to SHOW you he's serious.

[exprezo]

Hello lahnnabell What actions will you consider as "proof of serious GF"? I need to start "anaylyzing n monitoring".

[lahnnabell]

He'll be more proactive about calling you and making plans, not just giving you whatever time he has left over. In other words, he'll show you that he wants to see you. He won't just expect you to drop whatever you're doing to run to him. You need to put your foot down and refuse to be disrespected.

Let's say you make plans to do something with a friend. Suddenly, at the last minute, boyfriend guy pops in and says, "Hey, I wanna see you!" Don't just cancel on your previous plans. Tell your guy that you'd love to, but he should've called earlier to catch you while you were free. I know it's easier said than done because you want to see him just as badly, but he's gotta learn that he can't just come in and out of your life like this. If you don't start laying some ground rules, he's going to continue to think what he's doing is okay.

You don't have to be a bitch about it either. Just be matter-of-fact.

[VincenzoG91]

Perhaps this is all a misunderstanding based on a typo. Did he say "martial arts" or "marital arts?"

[exprezo]

To VincenzoG91
hahaha it is martial arts...he has been taking Japanese martial arts since 15 I think anyhow...with what happened last nite..I guess the excuse of the "need to focus on martial arts and I dont have time for you" = bunch of CRAP and BS. yes I still believe martial arts is in his blood but dumping me for that was just...an excuse...perhaps...

To lahnnabell

THANKS a million and you made a very good point. I feel the support. I have been thinking about it earlier today, too. I want to find myself back and really love myself instead let him come in and out of my life or 10 days of disappearance, as he wishes....

I feel better after I found this forum and talked to you guys!

[joy&freedom]

The first thing you have to do is to give yourself time to calm down. Otherwise your emotions won't let you see the whole picture more objectively. Don't take any instant actions, try not to jump into quick conclusions that are based only on your speculation or feeling offended. Just wait a bit. Maybe then you'll see the right way out.

[exprezo]

Reply to joy&freedom

I think you're correct too. In fact, these few days I am very calm WITH sadness. I shall say i m in idle mode now. I am just speechless and lost and shaken-up. It's so different me now....in past relationships when I encounter hurt like this I would cry and the feeling of sadness would be very intense until I cannot do anything in my life. Now, one hand I want to slowly withdraw my feeling from somebody who betrayed my love but the other hand hope this can b a REAL start-over for him n me [meaning he won't cheat again]...but lotsa doubts in me thinking about what he did with her and that every Saturday they still need to work in the same shift, same office, ALL ALONE