Hello,
Well I have been doing my best to get over my ex, been difficult but I think I have been doing ok but know it is too soon for me to look for something else.
The other week I was out with a female friend who I met through another friend and we had been out a couple of times on a night out, usually with the other friend. It usually resulted in us being left alone at the end of the night as other friends that were out either had work the following day or were tired and went home.
Well I really enjoy her company and at the end of the night made sure she got home safe before getting a taxi home myself from hers.
A couple of weeks ago just as i was leaving her house to get in a taxi home she just asked me if I fancied going out on a date with her at some point as she really liked me. That kind of threw me a little bit, not a good time to say something as I was walking out her door at the time. Now I was quite drunk at the time so may not have answered the best I could have done, I believe that my answer was something along the lines of I needed to think about it.
Anyway this was about 5 am so following morning I get woken up at about 9 with a message asking me what I had decided, she thought obviously it was a no as I hadn't replied as of yet. I simply replied that it wasn't necceserialy a no I had just gotten out of a long relationship a couple of weeks before and was still getting over my ex as I still loved her and cared for her. I also said I just need time to think and sort myself out, I don't want to get into anything else at the moment and don't want to lead her on thinking that there was a chance of something happening when at the moment I am not looking for anything.
Now silly me thought this was probably the end of that as she knew where I stood, well I was wrong. She never said anything to me in person when I saw her however the other night she sent me a message asking if I wanted to chat online for a bit, which I decided to do as I was online anyway. It kind of took a sinister turn for the worse, she started to have a go at me as she wanted to know how I felt about her. I explained again I wasn't looking for anything, then found out that she thought that the couple of times when we had gone out for some drinks while waiting for another friend she thought we like dates and wondered why i didn't want to have a proper date. In the end she concluded that I wasn't particularly interested in a relationship and she needed to move on, which again I thought was the end of it.
A week later she caught me online again, and started asking why I had been avoiding her. Which I hadn't, had seen her a few days before hand when I popped round to help her with a problem she was having and asked if I could pop up and fix. Anyway I told her that I wasn't avoiding her just been very busy, which I had and hadn't had time to go out and see anybody really, which I hadn't as I had been working long hours at work. Anyway she go more annoyed with me and asked if there was a spark there between us as she felt one, I said I didn't feel a spark and didn't see her in that way. I liked her and got on with her but just as a friend and again tied to explain that I was not looking for anything at the moment as I was still getting over my ex. Well she started to get quite angry and abusive with me then going back through the chat history and copy excepts of phrases I had written, out of context with the whole paragraph in was and asking why I obviously want more yet tell her that I do not want anything.
After this that night I then got a sting of quite abusive text messages at 5 am through until about 6 am, then after that when I got up feeling quite shattered as I had not got much sleep got another message saying that she had to take the day of work because of how much I had upset her and that she was already on thin ice and may loose her job because of me.
Followed on to that she also sent my friend a message telling him how horrible I was (toned that down slightly) and that she was annoyed at him as I had spoken to him about her when he asked what was going on as she told him she asked me out.
Even found out that she went through on facebook and had a look at my ex and looked at her profile. Last I heard from her was telling me that we needed to meet up and discuss this whole matter as it is not resolved and we can't continue to be friends until it is all sorted.
Now I am pretty certain I haven't done anything wrong, as she was a friend I didn't just want to turn round and say "No" when she asked me out as that seemed harsh so I tried to do it in a nice way by explaining that as flattered as I was I am not looking for anything at the moment and don't want to lead her on to something that isn't there. Obviously this was a mistake but you live and learn.
What do I do about this though? How do I try and get her to understand that I am not interested and wasn't interested in her in that way? Now if she had asked a few months down the line then who knows what would have happened but I explained everything to her about how I felt about my ex still before she asked me out.
S