Wondering where this is going

[Car Chick]

I am so madly in love with my boyfriend. I fell in love with him about two years ago. We have been dating since December. There has been many things in our way that we have overcome together-family disapproval, health issues, distance from his traveling to find work.

He talks about wanting to marry me all the time. Now he's moving 500 miles away and at first I was very excited because he was talking about US at the apartment. He said I'd have to buy new clothes because it gets a lot colder there than it does here and mentioned certain items I should bring with me. I was very excited thinking we would be getting married soon now that the financial and housing issues we'd had standing in our way our over. I talked to him about whether or not he knows when I could move there with him. He has no idea. He can't even set a general time frame. For all I know, it could be next year or 30 years from now. I can't wait forever for him, but I love him so deeply. We are a very happy couple, except that I am wondering, why at his age he's never been married and starting to wonder if he just can't commit, and now, when I miss him, I can't even be comforted by the idea that it will all be over soon because he won't be coming back to town when the job is over and I don't know when I'll be moving in with him. I am so angry and depressed at this point. I don't know if I can continue in this relationship, but I also don't think I can break up with a man I am madly and desperation in love with.

[xxazurexx]

He'd have to give me some kind of time frame.

No way would I sit around waiting on a man indefinitley.

[girl68]

You forgot something very important: how old are you?

I wouldn't wait forever either, either get a timeframe or get the 'what he needs to accomplish before you move there" list.

[Car Chick]

He'd have to give me some kind of time frame.

No way would I sit around waiting on a man indefinitley.

I agree. I can't wait around forever. I don't know what sort of time frame to insist on though. Should I say, when he's more settled and established in his new home, or within a couple of years, or when I graduate college? I don't know.

[Car Chick]

You forgot something very important: how old are you?

I wouldn't wait forever either, either get a timeframe or get the 'what he needs to accomplish before you move there" list.

I sometimes don't mention the age right away because people tend to get stuck on that and ignore that I am a human being with feelings and not someone to use as an emotional punching bag to take all their judgement out on, but since you asked, here it goes- I am turning 21 in a week and he turned 45 a few months ago. His age is part of why I am rushing so much. I want kids and I have fertility issues and he's getting old. I have PCOS and statistically if I don't give birth by around 25, I won't I want kids before we're both completely infertile. I want to adopt at least one child, but I also want to birth a boy and a girl. His age is also why I am wondering if he has a commitment issue since he is 45 and has never been married.

[girl68]

Jesus, 45 screwing 21 year old little girls! I can't respond anymore. Have you ever thought he doesn't WANT you there for the exact reasons you don't like telling ppl how old he is? Yes, it could be all pure lies to get you to pull your pants down for him.

[bluesummer]

Let me see, a 45 year old man who's never been married, dates a 21 year olds, and has commitment issues.

If you don't see enough issues in that sentence alone, I'd be concerned.

[Car Chick]

Let me see, a 45 year old man who's never been married, dates a 21 year olds, and has commitment issues.

If you don't see enough issues in that sentence alone, I'd be concerned.

Thus the reason I don't say his age. Every post from here on out will have his age. *sigh*, I guess I won't be getting any help then.

[NewToLove]

Thus the reason I don't say his age. Every post from here on out will have his age. *sigh*, I guess I won't be getting any help then.

Please understand that age is very important... You cannot blame them for making a big deal out of the AGE GAP BECAUSE IT'S EFFING HUGE.

Look here, my sister is 22 and dated for 2 years with her boyfriend which is 29, financially stable and definitely marriage material, but she's starting to think she's not ready to commit even when he is. and that' a 7 year difference and what is your age difference? THE DUDE MORE THAN TWICE YOUR AGE....

You're both from different decades, both obviously have different traditions and perspectives. I don't believe what you're doing is the right thing to do, I don't blame the family disapprovals.

I want you to seriously reconsider this... you're young and have much to learn... he's old and he shouldn't be dating anyone under the age of 35 at his age.