I've been with my boyfriend for nearly three years now, we met in college when he was 18 and still going through teenage issues such as depression and self harm. I'm two years older than him. For the first few months we weren't exactly going out but we were 'involved' and I stuck by him through his depression which was quite difficult at times for both of us.
He messed me about in the beginning, he used to have phone sex with younger girs and I found out that he had phone sex with a 12 year old girl when he was 17 (they met over the internet), and when I met him he was still in touch with this girl. She was also going through depression and self harm and he saw himself as her saviour. I know I shouldn't hold his past behaviour against him but I find it very hard to get over this issue. I went through his phone (I know I shouldn't have) and found a picture of this girl topless, bearing in mind she was only 12 or 13 and I felt disgusted. We had many arguments about this and nasty things were said on my part.
About a year into the relationship we were talking about fantasies etc and he said that he gets off on imagining young girls, he even said as young as ten or eleven. I appreciate the fact that he was honest with me and that he could trust me enough to tell me, but his confession has definately put a strain on our relationship. I don't know if how I'm feeling is normal or not. He is now 21 and I'm 23.
Since then things have got a bit better and I concentrate on the many good things about our relationship. We have our ups and downs but I do love him. But last week he got a text message off the girl I mentioned earlier saying that it was her 16th birthday and it sparked off all of these thoughts again. She has also suggested meeting up with him because they have never met in person before and it fills me with anger. I can't seem to forgive him for this and I tend to bring it up when we argue sometimes. I just don't know what to do or how to feel about all of this I wish that he never told me or that she would just leave hm alone.