Why would you leave your girlfriend without a formal closure?

[davidtorres]

he doenst know how to deal with it. usually that means the guy doesnt really care and found a new girl

[candypants]

I don't like to hear guys using "drama" as a reasonable excuse for avoiding a break-up talk. I think some guys consider drama to be any form of female emotion, even when the emotion is warranted. If you break up with her out of nowhere, she's allowed to be hurt and ask you why. That isn't drama; it's normal human reaction.

[VincenzoG91]

If I have only gone on a few dates with a woman and then lose interest, I won't even call. If I'm ending a serious relationship, I will definitely call or even meet in person to talk, though not in a public place like a restaurant, to avoid public humiliation for either of us.

The only way I would ever end a serious relationship without some kind of formal closure would be if she did something that was obviously very wrong. Like if I caught her having sex with another guy or something equally extreme. This is hypothetical, because it hasn't ever happened to me. But if something like that did happen, I would just go on immediate No Contact as soon as possible, without any discussion.

[Gigabitch]

Butter, I never saw a satisfactory answer to my question about why you couldn't reach him at all. Was this an online relationship? Did you never meet any of his friends or family? Do you know where he works?

I have a feeling you can't contact him because he's married or something. Is that the case?

[downinthedumps]

It happened to me once... normally there is some sort of general agreement that the relationship isn't working, so the breakup happens, or someone else is involved. This guy I went out with for 6 month just vanished. I must have rang him about 20 time in the space of 48 hours, one of the last message that i left was to say that that was the last message that he will get from me and it would be nice to hear from him if not, have a good life. I thought of all sort of reasons that he might have - e.g. my appearance, personality, he's dead or he got abducted by the 'little green man' and can't get to the phone...

I did hear from him - but about 18 months later. It was a short conversation, he apologized the way he left, but no explanation of why. I had moved on by then; and realized that it doesn't matter why he left - it wasn't my fault or anything I had done or anything I can do about; I was fine, living my life to the max just like I had done before and if he had told me what ever reason, it wasn't anything I can do about anyways - as I wasn't going to change or not be myself to be with him.

So for me, the closure was to believe in me; plus some times the reasons are so lame (it's not you, it's me) it's not worth bothering.

[vashti]

There are quite a lot of girls who just want the same thing, you know.

I agree. But most of them are skanky, or at least have that reputation.

[TheTooya]

closure- saying goodbye; not leaving the relationship hanging

Ah, my mistake.

Only reason I could think of is you didn't give a shit about the person, or wanted to get back at them for something :/

[CAM]

I've left without saying anything...just ended it. No closure. Once you make the decision to end it, ending it is easy. Even going over and getting yelled at my the ex-GF. I'm just standing there counting down the minutes til I can walk out. Most relationships are fake anyway...two people convincing themselves of something, convincing themselves that it is more than sex and that the relationship means something. Most are really the result of odd pairings occuring at unforeseen moments. Don't make the relationship out to be more than it is.

The same is true of many frienships...even someone you've known for years. If you looked at them closely, most friendships deteriorate into hanging-on to an earlier time and not a real and growing friendship.

[Honest Adam]

It is the easy way out. Do not over-think it though, as your desire for closure can leave a back door open for him to work his way back into your life. Don't fall into that trap, if he did it once he'll do it again. Good luck,
Adam