This is my honest opinion. After something like this, it is obvious to me that you are not ready for a new relationship but you can not continue your old realtionship. I think you need to understand why you have had multiple husbands. Your career must mean alot to you and as a ambious woman myself, I understand that. I think that it is time that you sat down and really thought about what you really want. I understand you love this man and have lost his trust but are you trying to salvage a realtionship with him out of guilt? or because you can't live without him? I don't believe that you are to old to give up on finding the man that you were truly meant to be with, but timing is everything. Maybe right now you just need you and subcously you are trying to do just that.
Once trust is broken with someone you love. it is harder to get it back then it was to earn it. Time is hte only thing that heals trust. Even then it will never been completely back to the way it was.
"Remember always, that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
- - Eleanor Roosevelt
" It's not who we are that holds us back, it's who we think we're not."
- - Michael Nolan
"...to love and lose, is better than not to love at all..." .... Lord, whats his name....
" The world is big... I want to see all of it before it gets dark." -- John Muir