Originally Posted by
pinkinterlude
Firstly it seems like the problem is that you are so used to her, she is the only thing you know, and you seem to have put her up on a pedastal. It's almost as if your idea of love is her. that there is no one else in the world. I'll admit I haven't spent 5 years with someone, so I won't pretend that I know exactly how you feel, but i can imagine how heartbroken you must be. It seems like she knows how much you love her and is kinda using it to her advantage. You took her back so many times and forgave her because you loved her. It's like she's believes she can get away with anything.
From a girls persepctive, it seems like because you two got together so young and have since spent five years together, she has only experienced a relationship with one person; you. I think she obviously loved you because why else would she choose to with you for so long, there's no doubt about that. but I think maybe she saw her friends being single, having various boyfriends etc etc, and was curious as to what she was missing out on. I don't for one minute condone cheating, and I think it takes a secure, forgiving person to take someone back after that.
Her behaviour seems to refelct how confused she is. she doesn't seem to know what she wants and you seem to be some sort of secure safety net for her. She knows how things can be with you, she knows how much you love her,, how much you've been there for her in the past. This is not necessarily a bad thing, she obviously feels safe with you, which is why she seems to be going back and forth. It's the grass is greener situation, where she thought a new relationship would be a certain way in her head but doesn't quite live up to expectation in reality.
I know you're in a difficult situation because you have tried to move on, but it doesn't help when the person you're trying to forget keeps turning up. I know how you dont know whether or not to stick around for that chance that you two may reconcile or to move on. I was in a similar situation. but you can't wait around for anyone because all you are doing is prolonging the pain. If I was you, I'd be asking myself, can I trust her? I think your answer will probably be no, mine would be too, and trust is the central point of any relationship. I think you should talk to her and tell her that you need to move on, and that you can't hang out with her anymore. Maybe mention that she is with someone else now and it's not fair on him. And then stick to this because if you go back on your word, you are showing her that she will always be an exception. Even if this is true, she shouldn't know this because she'll carry on taking advantage. I think you've spent way too long on this, you've been with her for five years, plus the 9 months that you've been apart. I don't think anything will change for a while because she does seem confused and jumping from one guy to another isn't helping her to figure things out. she should probably be on her own for a while.
Make a clean break from her for a while, it doesn't have to be permenant but give enough time for you to not expect so much from her. I hope you are okay, good luck.