Familar Story

[xxazurexx]

Just let it go. Who the heck cares about what happened last time and the time before and the time before that.

Eventually it reaches a point and when people have had enough and they leave for good. Bad relationships do eventually end and one person will decide they want out and end it for good and despite what they may have said in the past.

You should have been the one to reach the point of no return and given she appears to be the one to have led you the dance and pissed around with your feelings.

But obviously you lack self esteem, confidence, maybe are afraid of being alone, or frightened you will get nobody else and which is why you so desperately try to cling on to her, why you will tolerate her shit. So long as you have someone, you don't care how they treat you...

Snap out of it !!

[Teddy057]

She's got you wrapped around her finger, and it's pathetic. Get it out of your head, you two are done. You haven't quite accepted reality yet, and you are just feeling sorry for yourself. She's not gonna jump back into your life and save you from this pain you feel, it's up to YOU. To be honest, she probably doesn't give a shit about your feelings. So, I hope you know what you need to do...

[FrailWings]

I know you guys talk sense and from experience, but it bugs me how one minute she is madly in love with me and the next not at all, finishing it. I worked on myself a lot and fixed a lot of things which hindered the relationship in the past. There's a difference between what I need to do, should do and want to do. It's hard at the minute.

[xxazurexx]

Because she's a f**king headbanger who thrives on drama, that is why!

[FrailWings]

Or just generally doesn't want me as shown. I don't know, like i said fine one minute, next hates me. We did argue, but we sorted things, it was only in the 2 days leading up to finishing, we really did argue a lot. I did send an abusive text last week, but that was about her getting close with some boy when we had broken up which she held back from me. But apologized, and tried my best to make it up to her, and thought i did. May be that was the trigger because she ended it on that day, saying i was insecure, taking things out on her. But as i've said also, what i'd want is for her to comeback, talking again y'know.

If that ever happens, with any option to making up etc, is doubtful.

[Teddy057]

Find someone you won't fight with everyday.

[Petit Papillon]

I'm not even going to read your thread, I remember you and your case, I'm just going to say "I TOLD YOU" and if you're still fooling yourself then you deserve all the harsh words here Fools should pay for their stupidity and lack of ability to learn from their OWN experiences

[FrailWings]

Right been a few days since i've spoke. Over week since we broke up, and i'm starting to feel a lot better, weirdly enough. Been out with friends, everyone is saying the exact same thing, i can do better, and i need to get over her, which i'm trying to do. I guess all you guys are right, enough is enough, and it's time to get moving on. Thank you for all the posts so far, i needed some harsh words, with it being so early, but i'll keep you's up to date! Thanks again

[Petit Papillon]

You welcome

[Batman101]

Hi,

Been going through a similar relationship as you and just been going through a breakup for the third time, so I sympathise. It's like a continuous cycle, and every time I broke up with my ex I just carried on working on myself, while she just pointed the finger and sat on her backside until she got bored. But, everyone on here is right, it took me a while to realise it, but if the other person isn't willing to put in the time and effort on themselves and show a bit of commitment to the relationship then get out and don't look back.

If you let them, people like that will just suck the life out of you, don't let all that effort and work you've put into yourself be for nothing! There are plenty of women (and men, for anyone else in the same situation) around that'll appreciate you for being you. Don't waste yourself on someone that won't!

[FrailWings]

Thanks for sharing that. I know, a relationship is a two way thing, and when one side decides to just take a back seat, that's when you should walk away. Which i'm trying to do, i'm trying to slowly detatch myself, let my emotions and feelings numb, i guess it's for the best. I do care for her, and that'll never change, but however, that doesn't mean i'll get back into a relationship with her, i know what's best long term, and for me, and that is without her, which is what i'm trying to achieve.

Thanks for your similar story, keep it up buddy!

[RuntimeError]

I feel for you buddy. The sex must have been absolutly WONDERFUL! I know guys allow them selves to get kicked around alittle if the sex is that great but enough is enough. Cut this girl loose, definatly not going to be easy ... actually I heard of a study that compared the withdrawls from a break up to the withdrawls from crack for a crack addict. I mean the same regions of the brain were triggered. Not that really helps any ... it is going to be hard ... just know there are others that are going throught he same thing as you are ... and if you think our situations suck....

think of the poor guy that had a perfect girl friend that treated him like a king and he managed to lose ... talk about heart break ... we all live under the bell curve ... some people have it easier then us but some have it alot worse! Good Luck my friend!

[FrailWings]

Hey, thought i'd post an update. Wow, how far i've came, confused state of mind, but a wise one i suppose. The ex, i think i'm over, don't talk, nothing to her. I'm sure if she spoke, i'd be uninterested. MAJOR point here, i've got close to some girl, she had broken up with her boyfriend of 10 months at the same time with me. He cheated on her, etc, they broke up, got back together, etc, similar as mine. He ended it, and me and her got close. She speaks to me all the time, she's made a move on me, kissing me, saying i'm the "loveliest" guy she's ever met. All going swimmingly, i feel like i'm fallen for her. Bombshell, she's not ready for a relationship, she said, she's scared to let anyone in. So when i suggested we forget about it, she went all huffy, and blunt. So i asked, is it a case of nothing will happen between us or bad timing, she said bad timing. She's admitted she likes me, and i've admitted i like her. I've chased her in a way, i'd choose her over my ex, only girl i've ever said that about. It's weird and confusing how it's going. But it's progress on from the ex nethertheless.

[xxazurexx]

I can understand where she is coming from and because I've been in her situation. It will pay to be patient with her, rather than rush. If you pressure her, she will back off. But if she really likes you, she won't stay gone for long.

If she has recently been cheated on, she will be wary of being hurt again, hence her guard will be up. At this stage she is 'feeling' you out and is merely being cautious.

Just have patience and keep on being there for her. Show her that you are the guy, that is different from the rest and you can make her happy. This is what she wants you to prove. Being there will assure her that you are truly interested in her and little by little her trust in you will grow. Once she has your trust, her walls will come down and she will open up to you.

BTW, I'm over the moon for you See....we told you there were other girls out there for you and BETTER girls than your ex Hope it works out for you and if you need any advice, we are here for ya.

[Boisdevie]

Sounds familiar to me. Current woman I'm with/not with is similar. She wants to talk on the phone on Monday to sort things out so I sent her an email this evening explaiing all the things that I find unacceptable about her behaviour - bet that'll go down well. I'm trying to change her but told her quite frankly that I wasn't optimistic that she could change her behaviour.

Good luck man