Forgetting forgiving and concentrating

[rajuchacha0007]

hi experts....please bare with me if this thread is too long.

I am 26 M, working for an IT company. I came back in my native place from USA last year. I went there to study and to get good experience in the same post studies.I was studious and sincere in my studies while I was studying there that is why i finished it with good grades.Here it all started. One my friend's friend (the girl) came in my contact 2 and half years back. Firmly, I can say that i was not interested in her in earlier days. I was a bit surprised why the girl calls me too often in those earlier days. We started to meet again and again and it ended in dating.Unfortunately recession began and even though having good academics i was not able to get a job. We still used to meet and date until last year summer. One day when we(we both and our common friend and her the best friend) went for a trip, her best friend said to me ,"Do something man...please do something asap. meet her....she is happy with you". So i decided to propose the girl. Until now i was sure that she would not say no. Unfortunately, she said no. A big NO. Later i realized that she was seeing another guy for an arranged marriage(her parents ask her to meet him). I was shocked. She was seeing her since last couple of months and she was also dating with me. I could not understand what is going. I called her the best friend. She plainly replied "you haven't got job yet nor you are settled down." Just 3 weeks back she told me to do something and now the same person told me this. It was really terrible feeling. i was not sure how to react on that. I was so annoyed with that reply. I tried to convince both of them to wait or a while and give me some time say 1 year . Things will be fine. but no use.i was so depressed as i was thinking to get married with her. i came back here in my country. got the good job, cut off all communication for almost a year. meanwhile she was trying to communicate via emails. i used to reply plainly and formally. i almost started to live a new life and here new problem began....now she tries to chat with me every time i log on to messenger. she tweets something emotional on every other day.....this is making me nervous again. see i want to live my own life now....i want to forget and move on in my career....don't want to involve again.....please advise me...how should i react? she is so caring in these days while chatting...inquiring everything which she never did in past year nor anybody(friends or well wishers) does generally quite often. indeed it's confusing me nor i know her true intentions.


1. should i remove her from all social networking sites and chats? (her updates and photographs still allure me.)
2. this is really high time in my career now....if i start to win now...i would be successful but thoughts about her are making me numb and sort of being disabled.
3. I won't say that it's only her fault at all...she might be trying to treat me as a friend but i am not perfect nor i know her intentions.(since last year she called me only once and that is also because i called her.)
4. I had some problems about her male friends in the past and her dressing (wearing) in front of her. as i said i used to feel insecure but even today i am feeling the same...i really want to get out of this...please help/suggest...i tried everything....hangout with friends,outing,music...there was no problem for past year but now i think it's social n/w sites and chats making me upset.

Please reply if you could read this long post. waiting for your expert opinions. PLease do let me know whether I am wrong....i am not able to concentrate on my work since last 7-8 days. please help

best regards.

[Gigabitch]

You're more upset about the things the best friend has said, is that right? Why don't you cut her out of the picture and deal with the girl directly? It seems like you still have feelings for her. I think you should see if there's a possibility of you becoming closer without the interference of her friend.

[rajuchacha0007]

@Gigabitch

You might be right. Really thanks for the valuable advice and for your time.But the girl also rejected me at that time. Top of that she didn't even pass me any clue that she was seeing someone when we both were dating. This feeling of cheating, being ditched, deception due to lack of money is making me upset. She has got plenty so called good friends. Eventually I became her GOOD FRIEND once she said no. Top of that since last year she didn't ring me once and suddenly she is trying to chat with me, trying to get personal and tweeting emotional sentences on the twitter (i am the only male follower in her tweeter follower's list). It is not the case that she might have not seen guys around in past year. I have doubts on her intentions now. I really don't want get involve in this anymore as this is really high time in my career. Therefore, I want to know should I delete her and her the best friend from all social n/w sites and chat list? If yes, do i need to tell them in advance that i am going to remove them. In either way I am going to lose. Though I remove them they are going to say you are not a good friend and even if i don't remove them I have to tolerate that bloody cheap emotional drama which is making me upset. Therefore please do let me know whether I am thinking is right or wrong. I want to move on in my life. The girl's intentions are unknown to me. I don't know whether she is trying to flirt back again or she is really serious. Honestly if i think about all these things i won't be able to concentrate in my career which is top priority now. Therefore please advise/suggest me how should i react?

Best regards.