A few months ago I contacted my ex because I wanted to get some things off my chest in regards to past mistakes and feelings. I am not sure why I felt compelled to contact him but I did and it went surprisingly well. I basically put all my cards on the table and talked about past mistakes and how I feel about him. I have always loved him, I just never told him. Fifteen years have past and I am still in love with him. When I decided to do all this, I didn’t really think that it may scare him or that it would be a lot to handle because I wasn’t looking for anything from him. Me telling him how I feel was not an attempt to get him back. It was supposed to be for my own closure. Here’s the problem. Even though I told him when we talked that I didn’t expect anything from him and that I was telling him this for my own closure, I am realizing now that, that may have been a lie. As I talked to him I realized that I really did want to get back together with him because I love him. He wasn’t scared by the info but instead he wanted to know what the hell took me so long. Then he asked me where I wanted to go from here. I think I made my mistake by telling him that I don’t know and that it was really up to him. The fact that he was very perceptive and he suggested that we start again and rebuild kind of got me too. I just wasn’t ready for that kind of response from him and I certainly didn't expect him to ask me if I wanted to start again. If some guy did that to me I would run for the hills, but he seemed very ok with it, almost happy to hear it.
Now I am trying to figure out what kind of games he’s playing. The fact that he will not call me on his own really bugs me. He always tells me to call and text him. He always answers even if he’s busy and he will call back when he says he will. If I text him he answers within the hour. We talk for long periods, I mean good quality conversations and some kinky ones too, but why do I have to be the caller? When I don’t call him and I finally do he says where have you been you didn’t call me. I mean am I misreading. I keep thinking “he’s just not that into you” But why initiate something if you have no intensions on finishing. Honestly I don’t think it’s that because he does always call back and we do talk for hours. Personally, if I weren’t into a guy I would just tell him and then stop taking his calls. I ran this by a neighbor guy friend of mine who is around the same age as my guy and he basically told me that the guy wants me to chase him and that I should not call him for a bit and see what happens. He said that I am making myself too available and that when he does call that I shouldn’t answer and that I should not call him back for a day or two? Games, games! I’m not interested in playing. What if I do what my friend suggested and he thinks I’m not interested and never calls? I don’t understand why all the games, why do I have to chase him when he knows the deal. Any thoughts on what’s going on with this guy or what I should do?