So a while back I posted a thread asking for advice about my ingaged co-worker whom I'd fallen in love with. I'd been seeing the girl as more than a friend for nearly a year and a half and I couldn't get her out of my head. However, it wasn't quite in me to try to destroy her relationship with her fiance.
Well, things have changed dramaticly over the last couple months...and I mean dramaticly. She knew how I felt about her because I let her know. Soon after I had heard from my boss, whom is also a friend of mine and her's, that she had broken it off with her fiance because she felt like their relationship had been on the fence for quite sometime and just wasn't into him anymore. I was pretty certain at this point that I probably had something to do with it. I couldn't have been more wrong.
It turns out that she had broken it off with her fiance because she had become more than friends with her friend who happens to be a girl. Yes, she is a lesbian. I also had to find this out from my boss because she didn't have the nerve to tell me herself. This has ofcourse just devistated me. I am a wreck and find myself to be having some serious mood swings and find it impossible to enjoy anything anymore. I desperately want this girl in my life but I find it nearly impossible to just be her friend.
I've come to the conclusion that there is nothing that I can do about it and all I can do is give up and get over her. Am I wrong in thinking this? Is it possible that she is just going through a phase? I might add that even though both of these girl's families are highly religeous and threaten to disown them if they continue, yet they are still determined to be together. Even though her family is falling apart she still seems to be the happiest she's ever been with her new found friend. This seems unshakible to me. I've given up hope. I've put in a notice and will be quitting my job at the end of August. I also plan to remove every person relating to her from my life aswell. Even though many of those people are my friends aswell
. This is a very painful experience for me and everything that reminds me of her just cuts me. I've lost my motivation to do anything and have no interrest in any other girls and at this point I don't feel like it will ever change.
Am I doing the right thing by cutting myself off from her and everything that might keep her memory alive? My heart and mind knows when it's sick. I'm not the type to run away from my problems but this is a problem that I can not solve. I am lost and I'm constantly sleeping on a wet pillow. Please, can anyone give me some advice on how to go about this?