Confused

[shan.michelle]

I'll try and keep this as short as possible. I've been single for 2 years now, was in a bad relationship and have become very picky and and just taking my time. Joined a dating site and met a guy was had been separated for 8 months. Me 28, him 26. We went out a few times for about a week, towards the end of that week it got sexual and then he deicded he wasn't ready to date.

I'll admit I was a little hurt b/c of rejection and was like whatever, but I couldn't stop thinking about him and our similar situations and thought we could be good friends. For a whole week I debated on emailing him and every day said I would just leave it alone. I'm usually really good about not giving a crap and moving on, but at the end of the week I emailed him saying we could be friends and what not since we're both kinda new to the area and didn't have many friends. He said sure and then mentioned a no strings kinda thing. I figured I needed a break from dating and said why not, everyone has needs right??

It has been almost 3 months now and I like this guy, I think we have a lot of things in common and he's just pretty much everything I want, but I am confused about what he may be thinking. At first we would text maybe once or twice a week and maybe see eachother about that much. After awhile the texting picked up to where it's every day a few times a day. I'm very shy so it took awhile for me to start openeing up. When the texting picked up so did the visits, I wouldn't sleep over at first b/c I wasn't comfortable, but finally started to. He started asking me to come over just to hang out, cuddle, go to bed with him, no sex. This past weekend I stayed over fri, sat, sun and will be tonight. I always let him text me first and he always invites me over, i don't ask to come over. Also after we decided on the no strings thing we would just hang out the house and maybe two weeks ago he started asking me out to dinners and what not. Sometimes he'll ask me not to leave or recently he has started saying things like oh how about you ask your sister and her b/f if they wanna go to the movies even though he has never met my family.

I don't want to ask him about it all yet b/c I don't want to scare him off as i'm enjoying his company and right now i'll take what I can get, even if I am setting myself up for hurt, but does it sound like this could possibly turn into more down the road??

Thanks in advance for anyone who took the time to read this and respond!!

[kitkitkitty]

i think you're right to not talk to him about it- why spoil something that's going so right? he seems to find making the 1st move easy on most things so wait for him to mention something so that you know what he'll be thinking. it sounds like he's liking you more than he thought he would which is a good thing. he may be testing the waters to see what it would be like to be in a more 'exclusive' set-up with you.

[shan.michelle]

That sounds like awesome advice and I never thought about the making the first move part, but it makes sense!

[twerto]

Wow you women are ridiculous.
He is either A.) Lonely or B.) Likes you.

Obviously. So if he has friends (aka is not lonely), he likes you.

Even if he is lonely, he still probably likes you. He just needs a little reciprocity so that he can feel confident enough to move forward.

Either way, don't put him on the spot and confront him. Instead, be a little flirty, a little touchy... let him know that you're open to a relationship in other ways.

[shan.michelle]

Well I hate to be ridiculous, but when a week after meeting he tells me he doesn't think he's ready to date then it just makes me second guess a lot of things. Since i've been single I have found it hard to hang out with anyone more then twice and I was in a 7 year relationship so it's been awhile since I had to try and figure things out like this.

[davidtorres]

guys like you to be straight with them. it seems that he is just keeping you as a fuc* buddy and you want a relationship. you should just be straight up and ask where is this going? if he says hes not ready then leave and find another guy. dont waste your time on 1 guy.

[lahnnabell]

He has no reason to think that this is a potentially hurtful situation because you've given him all green lights. So, you want a relationship with him?

I can tell you that this little limbo stage won't last forever. And it will never progress unless you do some deciding. He's perfectly content because he's getting all that he wants while knowing he could just up and leave if he wanted to. He may very well like you, but not enough to get serious about dating you exclusively.