A guy I admired got rough in bed...

[vashti]

Bellaveev - You are a lucky girl, to have family that loves you so much. Give them all a kiss for me.

[sookie6]

As a conclusion to this memorable episode in the OP's life, I just want to say that I am developing a strong bond to this forum and the core of its members...

I find people generally caring and I'm amazed of all the good advice provided here with no agenda other than helping and supporting.

okay there will always be people trying to ruin it or just plain stupid people (they will recognise themselves on this thread I'm sure) but overall what an extraodinary crowd...

[ShannonMI]

First off it wasn't proper for you to jump in bed with him.

Did he hurt you, just scare you, or both? Do his intentions matter to you? Meaning if he didn't mean to scare you or hurt you, would you still feel bad about it. Was he forcing you to have sex with him? Did he realize he was hurting you? It is possible he didn't realize he scared you like that? He was laughing and even told you he didn't think it was a big deal. It looks like you are about to accuse him of rape. If he meant to hurt and scare you, then definitely tell your father, but if he didn't mean it do that you should realize you can ruin his life if they misunderstand this as rape. I'm surprised vashty didn't already call him a rapist. She is ready to burn him at the stake without even wondering could he not have mean it. I do not agree with all the guilty before proven innocent mentality.

Why is everyone so quick to condemn the guy before even knowing his intentions. This was consensual sex. It's easy to throw stones at someone else, you don't feel any of the pain.

I've read this entire thread and the responses and nov13's response really pisses me off. Yes, you got into bed with him, but choking you and laughing at you while you struggled is not right. He obviously knew he was hurting you. He saw you struggling and laughed. He didn't think what he did to you was a big deal because he's a sicko. Maybe he should have asked you first if it was ok if he could get rough. Not everyone is into the super rough sex. So it wasn't completely consensual. The guy obviously has some serious problems. nov13 is making it sound like it was your fault. It wasn't your fault at all. You thought the guy was nice and you had no idea it was going to happen the way it happened. I'm glad you told your family. Just be super careful from now on.

[nov13]

Wow, you are completely delusional, LailaK, Mishanya, ShannonMI or you don't know how to read. Where do you see me blaming her?

Do you realize people with your quick judge mentality used to burn witches at the stake just because they LOOKED possessed - which now we are finding out that "possessed" appearance was caused by hallucinations most likely caused by mold. And some of the women condemned were just sick. You could have been considered a witch and burned at the stake hundreds of years ago by people with your mentality. How can you condemn someone to be beaten, and possibly thrown in jail without carefully finding out the truth.

You people should read your posts, you sound like a crazy mob.

Remember, you will be judged with the same measure you judge others.

[ShannonMI]

Wow, you are completely delusional, LailaK, Mishanya, ShannonMI or you don't know how to read. Where do you see me blaming her?

Do you realize people with your quick judge mentality used to burn witches at the stake just because they LOOKED possessed - which now we are finding out that "possessed" appearance was caused by hallucinations most likely caused by mold. And some of the women condemned were just sick. You could have been considered a witch and burned at the stake hundreds of years ago by people with your mentality. How can you condemn someone to be beaten, and possibly thrown in jail without carefully finding out the truth.

You people should read your posts, you sound like a crazy mob.

Remember, you will be judged with the same measure you judge others.

And you really sound like a crazy person. Some of the things you come out with are nuts.

[nov13]

If I'm crazy for saying the truth, then call me crazy.

[ShannonMI]

If I'm crazy for saying the truth, then call me crazy.

The gibberish about mold and witches. You are trying to prove your point, I understand, but you're trying a little to hard with all that talk. Also you did fault her for jumping into bed with the man. You said "first off it wasn't proper to jump into bed with him." That right there is faulting her for the situation. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's how I see it. She's young and trusted the guy because he was a family friend and seemed very nice. She made a mistake, yes, but you were a bit harsh.

[nov13]

No, I said "proper", meaning it's not proper for a young lady to do that kind of stuff - just jump in anyone's bed. I was speaking strictly of the ethics of it.

Let's look at the facts:

1. None of us were there.
2. NONE of us know and can be sure of what really happened.
3. He wasn't here to defend himself - we haven't heard his side of the story.
4. He could be innocent.
5. Have you seen what you look like during sex? It could be a scary sight to someone else.

It's better not to punish someone who's done wrong, then to punish someone who is innocent.

Trust me you wouldn't want people like yourself judging you.

[IndiReloaded]

No, I said "proper", meaning it's not proper for a young lady to do that kind of stuff - just jump in anyone's bed. I was speaking strictly of the ethics of it.

Let's look at the facts:

1. None of us were there.
2. NONE of us know and can be sure of what really happened.
3. He wasn't here to defend himself - we haven't heard his side of the story.
4. He could be innocent.
5. Have you seen what you look like during sex? It could be a scary sight to someone else.

It's better not to punish someone who's done wrong, then to punish someone who is innocent.

Trust me you wouldn't want people like yourself judging you.

This^ post gets a C-. Some of the concepts are reasonable but you still need to resort to veiled insults to make your point. Its inconsistent with your supposed mandate to 'tell the truth'. Also, there is absolutely no reason why the poster should 'trust you'. Try to do better on your next post, okay?

[ShannonMI]

No, I said "proper", meaning it's not proper for a young lady to do that kind of stuff - just jump in anyone's bed. I was speaking strictly of the ethics of it.

Let's look at the facts:

1. None of us were there.
2. NONE of us know and can be sure of what really happened.
3. He wasn't here to defend himself - we haven't heard his side of the story.
4. He could be innocent.
5. Have you seen what you look like during sex? It could be a scary sight to someone else.

It's better not to punish someone who's done wrong, then to punish someone who is innocent.

Trust me you wouldn't want people like yourself judging you.

I'm sure the girl wouldn't make this all up and get her family involved if it wasn't a very serious situation. She was scared and later on the guy cornered her and was trying to intimidate her before her brother came into the room. It sounds to me like the guy is a real sicko. It may not have been "proper" for her to sleep with this man, but she's young and she made a mistake. She trusted him because he was very nice and her family really liked him. It just sounds like you are putting the blame on her. Maybe you aren't, but that is the vibe I get.

As for what people look like when they are having sex....when someone is choking you and you are struggling, it's pretty obvious you don't like what's going on. Come on now! Your argument is lame. If you liked it, you would probably lay there and allow him to choke you. You would probably moan and groan with the pleasure of it. She was struggling and he was laughing at her. The guy is a wacko and that's the bottom line. I'm glad she told her parents and they fired his ass. Good for them. Maybe they'll even press charges. He deserves it.

[LailaK]

Nov 13, when everyone else seems to be disagreeing with you, you may want to take a closer look at your argument. You do sound off the wall in almost all of your posts.

[nov13]

"Everyone" was in on burning the "witches", too, did it make it right?

[ShannonMI]

Everyone was in on burning the "witches", too, did it make it right?

Enough with the witches for crying out loud. The guy is a creep and hopefully they press charges against his ass.

[nov13]

And you know the guy?

How can you condemn a human being you haven't even seen?

[IndiReloaded]

And you know the guy?

How can you condemn a human being you haven't even seen?

F for this^ post. Its all conjecture here. The point of this forum is to hear all reasonable POVs and hypothesize, based on experience, what is most likely. You have to assume the OP can take or ignore what is/isn't useful to them.