The final verdict...

[oneandonly]

What I don't understand though is that OP portrays him the man of all men in this world! Sorry I am not being sacarstic or anything. It's just that from her numerous posts about her 'perfect' man, I didn't know he's only 22 years old!!!!

He may be wise and all by ending the relationship but if he really loved someone, he would've 'tried', at least. I don't know. I may be being naive.... It just doesn't add up, TBH.

The way I look at it, he wasn't in it 100% as OP made it out to be.

Yeah this doesn't help much, I know. The truth is, no matter how much you are in love with a person or how many break ups you've had, you can never be an exper or a predictor where there is another person involved. More humble approach in her future endeavours would be quite nice.

And this may be a generation gap but how casual sex or a series of flings can be a temporary solution to the hearbroken? I've noticed that lots of people advise this approach on other threads but I never really understand it. I wouldn't certainly recomment it to my niece, for example.

Yeah, each to their own, I guess.

[RdHrshyKss]

i think the initial plan was for lahnna to move out with him, but she got a promotion at her job, so everything changed.

[lahnnabell]

What I don't understand though is that OP portrays him the man of all men in this world! Sorry I am not being sacarstic or anything. It's just that from her numerous posts about her 'perfect' man, I didn't know he's only 22 years old!!!!

He may be wise and all by ending the relationship but if he really loved someone, he would've 'tried', at least. I don't know. I may be being naive.... It just doesn't add up, TBH.

The way I look at it, he wasn't in it 100% as OP made it out to be.

Yeah this doesn't help much, I know. The truth is, no matter how much you are in love with a person or how many break ups you've had, you can never be an exper or a predictor where there is another person involved. More humble approach in her future endeavours would be quite nice.

And this may be a generation gap but how casual sex or a series of flings can be a temporary solution to the hearbroken? I've noticed that lots of people advise this approach on other threads but I never really understand it. I wouldn't certainly recomment it to my niece, for example.

Yeah, each to their own, I guess.

Haha, you haven't read all of my other threads regarding his stupid antics. He's certainly not perfect, but I adore him. And you are right that he's not 100% invested. But that's okay. It doesn't mean he doesn't love me, but it means he's not ready to settle down. I'm not ready to settle either. Like I said, maybe he and I will find each other later.

As for the casual sex and emotional flings, it is a personal choice. I like getting attention from men, and it's relatively easy for me, so I use that to soothe my bruised ego. And then I move on.

[Gigabitch]

i think the initial plan was for lahnna to move out with him, but she got a promotion at her job, so everything changed.

They were still going to be apart, though. Her in Boston and him in NYC.

[lahnnabell]

lahnnabell, are you just being strong here and hiding your emotions about the break up. I'm a romantic at heart and i feel that it's only love that matters, in then end, when you look back on life, not money or career. And what i mean by that is love between partners, between family and friends, feeling that your life has been successful from the point of view of the relationships in your life. Not career or money, never should it be that.

I'm very sad, don't get me wrong. I spent every night this past weekend crying myself to sleep. I want him to be the one, but the directions we are going in right now make it really difficult to pretend that things are going to work out for the best. I don't want to delude myself into thinking that I can handle a 3,000 mile separation for an indefinite period of time.

Also, the very reason I am on LF is because of an ex-boyfriend. I moved 3,000 miles across the country with him, no job, no money, and 6 months later we crashed and burned. So, I've been here before. I know how bad it can get when you put yourself on hold.

I love being in love, but not at the possible expense of my own well-being.

[oneandonly]

Haha, you haven't read all of my other threads regarding his stupid antics. He's certainly not perfect, but I adore him. And you are right that he's not 100% invested. But that's okay. It doesn't mean he doesn't love me, but it means he's not ready to settle down. I'm not ready to settle either. Like I said, maybe he and I will find each other later.

As for the casual sex and emotional flings, it is a personal choice. I like getting attention from men, and it's relatively easy for me, so I use that to soothe my bruised ego. And then I move on.

I may not have read all but I've read enough. It doesn't mean he does't love you but it means he dosn't love you enough. Sorry. I rememeber there was a post that you said you could see a future with him. I do hope you find each other if you so wish that you see a future with him. I was utterly suprised to read he's only 22 nonethless!

I wouldn't say it's relatively difficulty for me to get attention from men but I appreciate that's your personal choice to get over and move on. I'd advise my niece though that there are far self respecting way of moving on.... It's only cos I deeply care about my niece, you know?

[lahnnabell]

I may not have read all but I've read enough. It doesn't mean he does't love you but it means he dosn't love you enough. Sorry. I rememeber there was a post that you said you could see a future with him. I do hope you find each other if you so wish that you see a future with him. I was utterly suprised to read he's only 22 nonethless!

I wouldn't say it's relatively difficulty for me to get attention from men but I appreciate that's your personal choice to get over and move on. I'd advise my niece though that there are far self respecting way of moving on.... It's only cos I deeply care about my niece, you know?

I'm curious as to why you are trying to hammer your point home with the "he doesn't love you enough". I'm coming to terms with how this is happening in my own way, and I don't need you to analyze my relationship. Thank you.

And why would you be concerned about getting attention from men? We aren't talking about you in this thread.

[oneandonly]

I'm curious as to why you are trying to hammer your point home with the "he doesn't love you enough". I'm coming to terms with how this is happening in my own way, and I don't need you to analyze my relationship. Thank you.

And why would you be concerned about getting attention from men? We aren't talking about you in this thread.

I get that now that you don't want anyone to analyse your relationship by posting your story in public forums. I wasn't actually entirely foucing on talking about me. Not at all.

Anyway, I guess you are wise enough to move on from this. I didn't mean to be causing any hurt than already is. I do apologise if I have unintentionally.

[lahnnabell]

I get that now that you don't want anyone to analyse your relationship by posting your story in public forums. I wasn't actually entirely foucing on talking about me. Not at all.

Anyway, I guess you are wise enough to move on from this. I didn't mean to be causing any hurt than already is. I do apologise if I have unintentionally.

No worries. As you can see, I'm plenty sensitive about the whole thing. I really wanted things to work out. But I can't force him to stay with me. Even if he thinks he can find someone better, I'll let him go off and try. But I know I'm amazing.

I just wish boys didn't take so long to grow up.

[fi123]

If it was me i would just take the plane and go be with him,there's other jobs in other cities, i can't see the point in crying myself to sleep, i'm a heart not a head person, that's a fault of mind though, i wish i could be more of a head person! Mind you i've always done alright jobswise too.

[lahnnabell]

If it was me i would just take the plane and go be with him,there's other jobs in other cities, i can't see the point in crying myself to sleep, i'm a heart not a head person, that's a fault of mind though, i wish i could be more of a head person! Mind you i've always done alright jobswise too.

In August 2008, my boyfriend at the time got a job in San Diego. We were living separately in New England at the time, and a couple of months before our one-year anniversary, we decided to move to California together. I up and left my job with very little money so that I could be with him. I had trouble finding work when we arrived because the recession was just getting worse. Finally, I found a job, and for a while I worked two jobs, trying to build a life with the man I loved.

6 months and many conversations later, I had no energy left. He refused to compromise and work on our relationship, and so I took the weekend to move out. That is when I came here. A few months later, I was then laid off from my position at the high school and was left to scrape by for months. I had to move out of my house in October 2009 because I couldn't afford my rent. Lucky for me, I had recently begun dating my current boyfriend, and his family offered to let me stay with them while I got on my feet again.

I was lucky. It can get bad. Moving on a whim in this unstable economy is a very bad idea.

[fi123]

Yes you're right, but it's so, so sad that it should be that way, that our personal lives can be ruled by the economy. "All you need is love" said the beatles, but unfortunately that's not the case.

[lahnnabell]

Yes you're right, but it's so, so sad that it should be that way, that our personal lives can be ruled by the economy. "All you need is love" said the beatles, but unfortunately that's not the case.

The Beatles also did a lot of drugs.

[fi123]

.........i have no doubts now that you will always do well in your chosen profession, you're tenacious and you're bright, always a good combination.

[nerdy_guy]

I know you guys say that you'd stick it out, but that could mean years of waiting for things to settle down. There is no telling if he's even going to stay in NYC. There is another job that he wants that would put him in D.C., then Georgia, and possibly anywhere in the world.

Although we are in the same country, she worked in a call center, and she based her work on US timezone. or should I say, timezone(s). She was a moving target. It was something like the 1885 movie Ladyhawke. We barely had time to even talk to each other.

It's too early for us to tell if we are right for each other. And as of right now, we're moving in different directions. It's sad, but if we ever do find each other later, we'll know that it's right.

What I did was took control of fate.

I'm not saying that you leave your occupation. That is very important. It's very tough to stay the course, and only a few will survive. Those who do, come out stronger and tougher.