The final verdict...

[lahnnabell]

So, I finally sat down with him last night. I asked him his reasons for wanting to break up once he leaves.

He said that he simply can't maintain his feelings at such a distance for an indefinite period of time. He remembered a conversation we had a long time go when I had said I couldn't do such a distance successfully, and he had felt the same. I'd forgotten about that conversation... But he's right.

I don't know how long I will need to remain in this job before I see the results that I want. And I don't want to say that I'll move in 6 months, when I don't know if it's feasible, or where I'll be in 6 months. I simply don't know enough to make such plans.

He said that the only reason he ever would have stayed in SD is because of me, but given that this is the only golden opportunity he's going to get to leave, he must go. And I understand... Neither of us are ready to settle down right now. And he's very young still and has more growing to do.

He still wants to stay in touch, and he said he'd love for me to visit. He said, "Although that may be difficult if you have a boyfriend." I kept it simple and said we'd take things in stride. I'd love to be able to spend time in NYC as I have little experience there.

I like to think that some day in the future, we'll find each other, but I won't bank on that. I know that I'll move on and I'll meet new people. Hell, I practically have my male customers lining up around the block just to get served a beer by me. Meeting men has never been a problem; it's finding strong, capable men that proves the most frustrating. I hate casual dating because I get bored easily. Sure, sex, yeah. Whatever. I have the best, most meaningful sex when I'm in a relationship. I get nothing out of casual sex.

So, when he leaves next month, I will be single again. I'll probably screw around a lot 'cause that's what I do when I'm fresh out of a relationship and hurting. And stupid boys that I feel nothing for will get attached to me just like last year. I've already started my list of back-up boyfriends in my head. Maybe I'll start a new blog... "Cougar In Training". Ha. We'll see

[jessZ]

I'm sorry lahnna :-( but you sound philosophical about it, and seem like a strong person, so Im sure things will work out as they're meant to. All the best with your new job. Xx

[sookie6]

Reading this post I can see you have had previous experience with break-ups and learnt loads from it.

I'm sure you'll be fine though and yes you are both still very young with plenty of opportunities. Also, I'd say don't close any doors completely and you've done that perfectly well...sometimes an ex can become the most amazing friend.

Sometimes.

[Raze]

Hey Lahn! You'll be fine.

Although, I don't think you should screw around and hurt other people while you're hurting, but I know I can't change your mind on that. Make sure you involve yourself in low-risk behavior to avoid STDs.

Good luck.

[the_robot]

Maybe I'll start a new blog... "Cougar In Training". Ha. We'll see

I don't want to spoil your dream, but you'd have a hard time being a cougar.... unless you like kid-aged teenagers

[vashti]

I think you and your boyfriend are being very practical about the whole thing. It sucks, but sometimes even people who are a good match can't make things work.

[Gigabitch]

As you know, this is all familiar territory for me. You're doing the right thing. That doesn't mean it won't hurt, though. I feel for you both.

[IncognitoSir]

The best deciosions to make are sometimes the hardest ones to make, but you're doing the right thing here.

[lahnnabell]

Thank you guys. I really appreciate the support And robo, hence the "in training". Silly boy.

[lahnnabell]

Hey Lahn! You'll be fine.

Although, I don't think you should screw around and hurt other people while you're hurting, but I know I can't change your mind on that. Make sure you involve yourself in low-risk behavior to avoid STDs.

Good luck.

I'm talking about no-commitment, no strings free-to-do-what-I-want flings. If they get attached after I tell them not to, then that is their problem. And I'm always safe.

This is about my 5th serious break-up. I'm like the President for the How to Get Over Someone Club.

[IndiReloaded]

I agree with Giga and Vash. At your age, you gotta do for you. Take care of now and the future will sort itself out as it should.

[doppelgaenger]

Is this my golden opportunity to fly in and sweep you off your feet?

[lahnnabell]

Is this my golden opportunity to fly in and sweep you off your feet?

Do your worst, sir

[doppelgaenger]

Tell me, have you ever made love in an airplane?

[lahnnabell]

Haha! No, I have not.