Think i might have messed things up for good

[Raze]

You need to make money to survive. Working is a means to an end. Family/Relationships come first, but you need money to survive. You did nothing wrong because you need to pay the debts to function in society and you are part of that society.

I know that it sucks, but we need money for the most basic needs. Relationships are important, but in order to have a relationship, you do need money.

[fi123]

Ok ...so my ex and i have talked a couple of times while he has been away and we have agreed to meet up once he comes back from holiday, he was first to mention it when we spoke last. That is all ok and everything up to now, and i don't think i'm pushing him too hard etc., i've cut the phone conversations first both times, once or twice in the last conversation i started to make like i needed to go but he didn't seem to want to cut the conversation at those points.

( Who knows what he is really thinking about our relationship but time will tell.)

Anyway the reason i am posting is that i fell asleep for about an hour earlier today and i had a dream about him and I. The dream i can't really describe as dreams can be a bit abstract!

However the gist of the dream was i was trying loads and loads of different things to try and make him happy, but whatever lengths i was trying to go to to make him happy, i just wasn't achieving it. I kept trying, but i just couldn't manage it.

Since then i can't shake off this feeling of slight resentment that i'm now being put in this not ideal financial situation and that he is actually quite a selfish person and that my attraction to him has dialled down ever so slightly. I do understand his point of view but i think he should have been a little more understanding of my situation. I haven't had the urge to contact him at all since the dream. Plus my appetite has suddenly returned and i have just wolfed down a load of food. I had lost 6 pounds since we broke up 10 days ago.

Anyway i will see how things go.