Is it wrong to like someone else?

[Toxic106]

Nothing major here. In the past, my girlfriend liked someone else, got confused and broke up with me... as some of you might know. I was devastated. Completely crushed. It was my first relationship, and first real relationship after all. We got back together after she found out the one she loved/loves is me.

During the 'break-up' period, I started disliking the guy. Uh, I didn't even know who he was. It's only natural because my girlfriend 'liked' him. I know I shouldn't hate him. I have not real reason to. This is beside the point...

I just wanna know, is it wrong to like someone else while in a relationship? I've never 'liked/loved' ANYONE else when i'm in a relationship so I wouldn't know the feeling. I do sometimes find someone attractive but I'll just ignore it because I know, I love my girlfriend so very much. Btw, the break up happened 2 months ago. It's our four month anni tomorrow. ^^

Is it WRONG to like someone else while in a relationship. I just find it annoying. I've already left my insecurity behind. I know, deeply, she loves me very much. And i love her very dearly. Yep. That's it. That's my question. Anyone? Please, give a reason as well.

[Gigabitch]

It's not wrong at all. It's totally natural and to be expected. The problems come up when it isn't handled well. If you find yourself liking another person, finding them attractive when you're involved with someone else, you're supposed to proceed with great caution. Don't lie to yourself and say you can be great friends with this person. You can't. You have to be reserved around them, because it's likely that if you're feeling it, they're feeling it too and you don't want to give the impression that you're open for exploration.

Clear boundaries are important, as is making sure to respect the relationship you're in regardless of whatever problems you may be having. Sometimes people make the mistake of thinking the new person they like is somehow better than their SO or even that he's "the one" for them, simply because that person doesn't come with all the baggage of a real-life relationship. That's probably what happened with your girlfriend.

It's understandable that you should resent this other guy, and that you should be pissed off that your girlfriend did this to you, but it's not really his fault, necessarily (I don't know how much he did to pursue her while she was with you). She just didn't deal with being attracted to someone else in a responsible way. Hopefully, she's matured a bit because of this experience and hopefully you'll know what to do when you find yourself attracted to someone else. If you're together long enough, there's no avoiding it.