Why does my EX want me to move on from her so quyickly??

**IamTHATguy** · 23-09-10, 10:59 PM

I don't understand, i EX of over 2 years broke with me a week ago. I spoke to her since, and she explained, the break up is what she wants, but she loves me, and just wants me to be happy.

She said, "go and meet new girls and get yourself a new girlfriend, you deserve the best"

I don't understand, she says she loves me? but if you love someone how can you want them to go and get a new partner so soon?
If she got a partner now, i don't know how i would cope with that

What's she thinking?

edit: she doesn't have a another guy, or didn't cheat on me, (i have questioned her on that, and i'm 100% certain she's genuine, she never could go through with that)

**thegetmyexback** · 24-09-10, 12:30 AM

O.K. slow down now... I know how you feel, my ex broke up with me after 7 years. Now I did a lot of things wrong when I handled that breakup.
Don't do what I did
- don't call her all the time or text her
- don't tell her you love her every five minutes
- don't argue the break up
- don't try and make her make up with your

what you can do is to take it rally slow, you can get you ex back, but you need to slow down. Don't panic. If you fear she might already be dating someone else, don't worry about that. 95% of rebound relationships fail.
Give her some space, let her figure it out on her own.
Don't call her - I can't tell you how important this is, make her reach out to you.
Next work on your life and making it better - get a hobby, sing up for some class, get a gym membership, take a trip or just work on your career
What you don't wanna do is make your ex feel sorry for your or to start to avoid you.
You want her to start and MISS you and initiate spending more time together.
Listen e-mail me, really I can help you out - I do free e-mail consulting for people who are going through a break up.

**justcheckin** · 24-09-10, 01:07 AM

^^^ I agree 100%

Your best move is to act like it doesnt bother you. if you do that, you have a chance she might miss your companionship (weather it was positive or negative) and reach back out for you.

**VincenzoG91** · 24-09-10, 01:15 AM

You're kidding yourself. The reason that she wants you to move on quickly is that she moved on to somebody else before breaking up with you. She is hoping that you will get involved with someone else soon so that you won't be upset when you learn the truth.

**sparkle_jello** · 24-09-10, 01:31 AM

When I was in the dating game and broke up with a guy I would encourage the same thing because it lessened the guilt I felt. I hated the feeling of someone wanting to be with me when I didn't want to be with them.

**IamTHATguy** · 24-09-10, 04:48 AM

Originally Posted by VincenzoG91

You're kidding yourself. The reason that she wants you to move on quickly is that she moved on to somebody else before breaking up with you. She is hoping that you will get involved with someone else soon so that you won't be upset when you learn the truth.

I'm not kidding myself, i know her well enough to know she would tell me if this was the case. I've questioned her about it aswell, she promised me this isn't the case.

Originally Posted by sparkle_jello

When I was in the dating game and broke up with a guy I would encourage the same thing because it lessened the guilt I felt. I hated the feeling of someone wanting to be with me when I didn't want to be with them.

Yeah, this is what alot of my friends are saying, i do undersrand this i think. But I ask; she said she still loved me, i was her first and said i will always mean something to her, but if she loved me, why would she want to see me happy with someone else?
Do you honestly deep down want your ex to go and find and sleep with another girl so soon??

**hello1** · 24-09-10, 05:11 AM

I said this to my boyfriend when we broke up, I didn't mean it! I think if he did find another girl and did anything then I would never taken him back. Truth be told women are complicated so she could be thinking ANYTHING! Be open to all thoughts she may have.

**Spoonandfork** · 24-09-10, 05:19 AM

Originally Posted by VincenzoG91

You're kidding yourself. The reason that she wants you to move on quickly is that she moved on to somebody else before breaking up with you. She is hoping that you will get involved with someone else soon so that you won't be upset when you learn the truth.

this guy speaks the truth. The only reason your ex wants you to meet other girls is to lessen her guilt because she's already interested in someone else

**Spoonandfork** · 24-09-10, 05:21 AM

Originally Posted by IamTHATguy

I'm not kidding myself, i know her well enough to know she would tell me if this was the case. I've questioned her about it aswell, she promised me this isn't the case.

stop contradicting yourself. Read what you wrote below

but if she loved me, why would she want to see me happy with someone else? Do you honestly deep down want your ex to go and find and sleep with another girl so soon??

**IamTHATguy** · 24-09-10, 05:39 AM

I'm not. i asked her if she has another guy in her life and she told me no. And i believe her.

**Spoonandfork** · 24-09-10, 05:55 AM

ah, well then I believe you now because your girlfriend is 100% honest

**IamTHATguy** · 24-09-10, 06:00 AM

Originally Posted by Spoonandfork

ah, well then I believe you now because your girlfriend is 100% honest

Presuming you're adding major sarcasm to this post.

Well she told me she didn't i've always trusted her fully, but this is the first time someones put this into my head, so thanks a bunch.
She was very genuine and she's a very nice girl, a nice girl wouldn't be able to lie to someone she's loved for 2 years about this... eh?

**Spoonandfork** · 24-09-10, 06:13 AM

I'm not saying this to be mean. I just don't want to see you get hurt any more. It's bad enough she broke up with you after 2 years. What's worse is when you find out the girl, whom you loved and trusted the most, lies to your face and makes you look like an idiot because you're the last person to find out the truth

**IamTHATguy** · 24-09-10, 06:15 AM

So would making new contact and ask her agaain for a final bit of honesty be good or bad? Cause if i go seing photos or status' on facebook i don't know how i'd cope with that ...

**Spoonandfork** · 24-09-10, 06:21 AM

your best plan of action would be to respect your ex's decision and move on with your life. I'm sure the experienced fellas on here will agree with me. It may seem counter-intuitive but the less attention you pay to girls, the higher your status goes up in their eyes. The worst thing you can do is come across as clingy. Avoid contact with your ex and delete her from your life. This includes her facebook and phone number. If she tries to contact you, just give her a cordial "hi, what's up?" but nothing further

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