non affectionate relationship, what do you do?

[smalls23462]

I've notice sometime now that my girlfriend had a problem with being affection. We were having a decent sex life but i noticed that there was something still missing. the little things that said i love you were not there. For example, hugs, kisses, etc. there was not much of that going on. i talked to her about it and she told me things would get better... they never did. later we decided we would stop having sex as an effort strengthen our spiritual walk. Which i thought was commendable but the combination of no sex an no affection began to take its toll on me. I couldnt handle it. i began to voice how i felt . she said i made her feel like she was not enough for me. I really love her so i tried to get over my feelings. all the while i was becoming resentful towards her and the feelings i had for her. I treat her like a queen and i take very good care of her. she is living with me. im taking care of all the bills and i give her an allowance. when she first moved in with me she had no transportation so i bought her a car. I will do any thing for her she lacks nothing. with as much as i do for her you would think its not fair for me to be going thru this. but somehow she cant see it. It is very odd to me because she is a very intelligent person. as smart as she is she has to be understanding.but i cant call it. i truly believe this girl loves me but with everything going on i wanted to make sure so i have been checking for signs infidelity but she always comes up clean. there is nothing there! at times i wish she was cheating so i would know what the heck is going on. this is very confusing to me and i dont no what to do. does anyone have any advice.

[MerryH]

You kind of make it sound like you expect her to be more affectionate because you support her financially. I hope that's not how you truly feel, because the fact that you pay for everything should have nothing to do with how she should show affection.

Maybe she's just not the type to constantly hug and kiss. That's just the way some people are. I don't understand how you two thought not having sex would make things better. You said your sex life had been decent. Why don't you try starting that up again?

And stop snooping through her stuff to find signs of her cheating.

[kats86]

Is there a reason why you're paying for everything? Is she unable to work? Seems to me like she wants a free ride. Has she always been like this or did it just started recently?