my bf isnt so affectionate anymore ! ={

[richeanne]

okay so here's the thing, my guy and i are together for almost 2 yrz now and things aren't so "mushy" anymore. things r gr8 the first year but after awhile things start to go downhill,. well we're fine but he doesnt seem to care so much like he did at first.Like appreciating the fact that i'm there in his couch giving all the time in the world to him, doesnt hug me as much ( the efforts are all mine !) or kiss me as much. But he TELLS me he loves me more than anything. I know he does, but i want him to make me feel still so special like before, he's so used to me bein there that he thinks I'm fine bein ignored mostly. he usually sleeps after some talkin (he sleeps 3/4 of his day when there's no classes- we're college students) how do i get him to that? crap, help me pls.

[Mallory]

i am not a male but I don't think that i girl could not help here as well.

Since you are saying that he sleeps so much maybe he is stressed a bit and this, of course, makes people neglect other things. It does not necessarily mean that he does not love you as much anymore.

What are his other activities? Is it just classes and coming home sleeping or does he meet friends and go out as well?

[Cain]

Congratulations.

You're now out of the honeymoon stage.

Relationships start strong in the beginning and eventually die down. It happens. The excitement and freshness of the new relationship can only last so long.

But if there is absolutely no affection, then you really need to talk to him about it.

[richeanne]

i am not a male but I don't think that i girl could not help here as well.

Since you are saying that he sleeps so much maybe he is stressed a bit and this, of course, makes people neglect other things. It does not necessarily mean that he does not love you as much anymore.

What are his other activities? Is it just classes and coming home sleeping or does he meet friends and go out as well?

well he meets up with his friends once in awhile, but he's with his blockm8s the whole day,for heaven's sake,.=C we usually see each other after class when our sched collides., but all we'd do is eat, talk sometime then he'd doze off. omg. yeah maybe he's stressed a bit, but that doesnt mean havin that as a routine isnt it? =<

[richeanne]

yeah realized that for like a half a year already. just swallown the thought that it's normal. Or maybe we're just gettn older.

[Mallory]

I think you should find out if it is because he is just stressed or because he might start to take you for granted. Because if that is the case you should back off a little bit and show him that you also got other interests beside him. Meet up with your girlfriends, do something alone and don't be clingy. Maybe he will make more efforts then.

@Cain: I think it depends on the relationship if they hug and cuddle a lot. Me and my bf have been together for almost 5 years and we hug and cuddle all the time (of course there are days where one might just not be in the mood so much or just being tired from work, but usually we need a lot of body contact, and I am not talking about sex necessarily)

[richeanne]

yeah well i'm a very social person, he is too. we both go out on parties, we hang out with our friends. But here's the thing, we almost have the same social circle- we've known each other since junior high (he's one of my guy friends before) our first months in the relationship was a bit awkward bein highschool friends and all that =P the only prob is that sometimes, we still treat each other like buddies now, .coz we're so used to that.

[Illusional]

he's either gotten too comfortable with you, or he doesn't care about you anymore.

raverboy

[IndiReloaded]

1. Talk to him about this.

2. Make sure you have enough interests of your own so you aren't depending on him to entertain you.

3. What Cain said. Now you are going to find out if you are longterm compatible or not.

[swargolet]

This happens with MANY relationships. It has happened with mine and plenty others I know almost word for word.
I take it that if you mention that it doesnt seem like he cares anymore he comes back with something like "Well you should know I care" or "what about the time I did _____ that shows I care"
I used to always do that and I now know that it isn't what happened in the past it is what you are doing now. Also you can tell him over and over and it most likely wont sink in until something major happens which is why many people learn from break-ups since that is the major thing to make them sink in. Maybe make a major event "happen".
Im sure he still cares about you he just doesnt know how to show it or he thinks that you guys will never break-up and he doesnt have to try.
Tell him how you feel but go further than that. Tell him that his lack of caring is making you feel less for him and that you're afraid where the relationship is going and you want to bring the spark back. Maybe even give him some ideas to bring it back but not too many, he has to come up with his own.
Lastly... Yes the "spark" does die down in a relationship overtime you have to realize that.
Try searching for "how to keep a relationship strong" in google or something along those lines.

[richeanne]

yeah..well we're busy with school nowadayz and it seems like forever =C..I can't say its bad though..I think I'll let the crave sink into him first..then maybe it's time to show up..;D

[richeanne]

and btw.. i just hate the thought that most guys w8 for that freakn event before fallin of the couch and do somethin ;C

[priv1]

Ok heres the thing this happens in 99% of relationships reason being that at the start of a fresh r.ship theres that spark which is so strong when its fresh but then begins to fade when the two people get used to eachother.
I know its depressing and a shit feeling
But what you have to do is togther discuss ways to get it back maybe do things that remind you of when you first got together be more intimate apprecaite each others company and realy show it to one another cos one day u might not realise what u have until its gone
But just speak to him you got nothing to loose
Let me know how it goes... GOODLUCK...........

[bluesummer]

Totally normal relationship stuff.

[Lite]

Maybe you're too emotionally needy in the physical affection department, and he's tired of it? Or, maybe he's just tired. Or depressed, or you've left the honeymoon stage of your relationship, or...

Maybe he's just happy you're near him, and not so happy when you're trying to smother him in an attempt to be physically affectionate? I know that there are times when I find that behavior extremely offputting. "Please please pay attention to me!" When all I want is to just relax and no worry about having to exert energy because I've had a long day at work.