So I have a bit of a dilemma.. I have recently moved into a house with 2 other girls and 3 boys for my second year at uni. I have history with one of the boys, we had feelings for each other at the beginning of the first year of uni and fooled around drunkenly a couple of times. But at this point he didn't want a relationship.
For the past year, we have both been jealous of anything the other one was getting up to with somebody else. And we texted loads this summer discussing the possibility of something happening as we both still have feelings for each other.. However just before we returned he said he didn't think anything should happen as he didn't want to ruin our friendship and as none of the other housemates know any of what is going on it would be very difficult.
Whilst we have been living together on the second night (after a night out, but still sober) he stayed in my bed, and although we have never slept together, we have spent a lot of time cuddling and kissing other things have happened on 3 occasions in the past week, always sober, without the housemates knowing. Whenever I see him talking or with another girl I get stupidly jealous and it drives me insane.
Since the last time he has said he doesn't think anymore should happen because he doesn't want to hurt me as he's aware of my jealousy and still isn't keen on anything 'official' happening between us and I was devastated. He cried whilst telling me and says its gunna be really hard for him too (as he knows how hard it will be for me) and he said he will be constantly jealous.
We're really close friends and obviously I want things to stay that way, but I am finding it impossible to get over him as I see him every day and still have strong feelings for him. As I can't talk to any of my housemates about it. And I just really need some advice as to how to get over him without ruining our friendship. Because everytime I think about it I want to burst into tears.
Thank you, and I'm sorry for the long winded story.. but I really don't know what else to do anymore...