PLEASE help me out guys, I can't think straight, I'm 18, on pills and now with this added mess I don't know what to do or how to control the situation. I don't know if ANYONE can help me,but if you want to cut the story short and scroll to the bottom please do, just as long as you read I beg you...
I have just broken up with my now 'ex' about 2 weeks ago now and we have been together for 3 and a half intense years. She was my first love and I have been with her for as long as I can remember, since about 14. Since then she was never the type to listen... I guess a typical teenage girl in a sense,with insecurities and just a desperation to fit in with the normal 'popular' teens of today.
As you may notice, I'm still the same age as her but I don't buy into the typical teen happenings. I'd rather be my own person, whether that means I'm different and don't fit in, than be someone I'm NOT just to fit in.
We broke up because she was becoming unhealthily controlling and obsessive and making me always feel stressed, upset and that I had done something wrong. I became paranoid thinking ALL my actions through because 9 times out of 10 I'd upset her and so I began to think 'I must have done something wrong.. What is it now?' when REALLY the case was that she was just too obsessive, selfish controlling and unfair...
THE THING IS IVE BEEN WITH HER SO LONG, I LOVE HER and now we're not together she has become something she's not. So twofaced, and now friends with a bad crowd. It hurts to see this.. Although I've been told I shouldn't let it bother me and to 'let her get on with it'.. it's just it's hard because I love her and I want to say to her 'PLEASE, be yourself.. WHY have you done this to yourself and changed for other people?' it's so sad for me to see it, even though I broke up with her. But as I say she was NEVER the type to listen and I stuck with her for SO LONG because I thought she'd CHANGE.
WHY CAN'T I GIVE UP ON HER I TRIED SO HARD WITH HER FOR SO LONG AND I THOUGHT IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO TO FINISH WITH HER BECAUSE I FIGURED SHE'LL NEVER LEARN. I FIGURED I'D HAVE TO GIVE UP ON HER BUT NOW EVEN THOUGH WE'RE NOT TOGETHER... WHY DO I STILL NOT WANT TO GIVE UP ON HER? WHEN WE'RE TOGETHER IT'S SO HARD.
IF YOU READ THIS, THANK YOU SO MUCH AND PLEASE HELP ME BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, I HAVE NO ONE TO TURN TO AND I'M SO SICK.