SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME.. I have no one else to turn to

[Sam.H]

PLEASE help me out guys, I can't think straight, I'm 18, on pills and now with this added mess I don't know what to do or how to control the situation. I don't know if ANYONE can help me,but if you want to cut the story short and scroll to the bottom please do, just as long as you read I beg you...

I have just broken up with my now 'ex' about 2 weeks ago now and we have been together for 3 and a half intense years. She was my first love and I have been with her for as long as I can remember, since about 14. Since then she was never the type to listen... I guess a typical teenage girl in a sense,with insecurities and just a desperation to fit in with the normal 'popular' teens of today.
As you may notice, I'm still the same age as her but I don't buy into the typical teen happenings. I'd rather be my own person, whether that means I'm different and don't fit in, than be someone I'm NOT just to fit in.

We broke up because she was becoming unhealthily controlling and obsessive and making me always feel stressed, upset and that I had done something wrong. I became paranoid thinking ALL my actions through because 9 times out of 10 I'd upset her and so I began to think 'I must have done something wrong.. What is it now?' when REALLY the case was that she was just too obsessive, selfish controlling and unfair...


THE THING IS IVE BEEN WITH HER SO LONG, I LOVE HER and now we're not together she has become something she's not. So twofaced, and now friends with a bad crowd. It hurts to see this.. Although I've been told I shouldn't let it bother me and to 'let her get on with it'.. it's just it's hard because I love her and I want to say to her 'PLEASE, be yourself.. WHY have you done this to yourself and changed for other people?' it's so sad for me to see it, even though I broke up with her. But as I say she was NEVER the type to listen and I stuck with her for SO LONG because I thought she'd CHANGE.

WHY CAN'T I GIVE UP ON HER I TRIED SO HARD WITH HER FOR SO LONG AND I THOUGHT IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO TO FINISH WITH HER BECAUSE I FIGURED SHE'LL NEVER LEARN. I FIGURED I'D HAVE TO GIVE UP ON HER BUT NOW EVEN THOUGH WE'RE NOT TOGETHER... WHY DO I STILL NOT WANT TO GIVE UP ON HER? WHEN WE'RE TOGETHER IT'S SO HARD.
IF YOU READ THIS, THANK YOU SO MUCH AND PLEASE HELP ME BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, I HAVE NO ONE TO TURN TO AND I'M SO SICK.

[WICKED THOUGHTS]

Well.. for starters, get off them pills. Theres no need for them ya. Ur ass need to take care of urself b4 u can help others. Nway, i know u care bout her, but u got to let her be. imo

[IncognitoSir]

At your age, everyone around you is going to go thru rapid changes over the next few years. hell you yourself will change as well. 1st love is always hard, especially on high schoolers. You have to let her go though, she not your World, only a part of it. Go hang with the fellas, get your mind occupied with other things. You're 17, there's a lot more life to be experienced, trust me, women get SOOO much better lol!

[Sam.H]

Thank you for your replies guys. It's hard... but I just don't wanna be an asshole and fall into this typical shit of being undignified with the break-up and moving on too quickly. I feel it's a crime for me to enjoy myselfand be happy now...

I just don't get why I'm so bothered about her though? What's the best thing to do? We haven't spoken since.. but I will be seeing her in school in a few days as we go back then.

Part of me wants to say 'what are you doing, why you being this way, so fake' and then part of me thinks its best to let her get on with it as WickedThoughts mentioned above.. I guess if its all fake it will collapse and she will realize anyway? Should I even be nice to her? Afterall I have NO respect for her seeing as she now getting with all the older kids...

How should I take this?

[Teddy057]

Get off the damn pills, they will do nothing but hurt you. She made you unhappy, and you needed to leave. That's the end of it. You're just starting to learn that people change, and you need to learn to let go of people you once loved. It's just a sad fact of life.

My first love and whatever you wanna call it is a total different person now, too. She's a total bitch, and I've even named her "dumb bitch" in my phone. So, when I get a text from her I just instantly laugh.

Just know that you can't save her from this dumb shit she's putting herself through, and she's going to need to learn on her own. In the meantime, take care of yourself and don't make stupid decisions.

You know what I do to deal with stupid people? I ****ing ignore them and lift weights, and worry about myself. Try it.

[blent]

You were with her for so long, that you're more used to her being around than being just on your own, that's all. From reading what you've said, it sounds like you really don't like her much as a person, because you've been wanting her to CHANGE this entire time! If you want to, go tell her she's being fake, you can say whatever you want, because you know her more than any of those people do. But if you want her out of your head, then you need to just go on with life and think of her as just another girl at school. It will be hard at first, TRUST me I know, but after maybe a couple weeks your mind will start to tone down and you'll become yourself again.

[Agape]

Whatever you do . . . TAKE IT STEADY . . . better it's a gradual "un-loving" of her else it will just end in failure.

The firsts are probably the hardest to get rid of but you will . . . the best things to help you is TIME and DISTANCE.