I'm going crazy trying to decide what to do "Ben" is my current boyfriend of about two years. We've had some rough patches but I always thought that we would be together forever. Then "Greg" entered the picture. We work together which is going to make things weird no matter what happens. I made a list of their positive and negative traits to try to decide who would be better for me but it hasn't helped. Can anyone offer advice or share similar situations? I'm afraid of leaving Ben, but the way that I feel around Greg is something that I haven't felt in a LONG time. I actually blush when he talks to me..lol I get butterflies when he walks by. But I don't want to hurt Ben and I don't know what to do x_x The thought of being away from him (Ben) makes me sick.
FYI I am 20, Ben is 21 and Greg is 27. Here are the lists if anyone is interested:
"Ben" +
-Intelligent.
-Thinks outside the box.
-Quiet.
-Doesn't drink or go to bars.
-Similar interests: smoking and going for drives.
-Says sweet words.
-Extremely supportive in everything that I do - moreso than most of my family members.
-We can read each others' minds; he knows what's bothering me before I say a word and vice versa.
-We have conversations that I just don't have with other people. Life seems more real when I'm with him.
-I'm his first real girlfriend so I could just be kind of hard on him.
"Ben" -
-Immature (He might be autistic though)
-Pessimistic
-Doesn't take the lead or plan anything.
-He will be in college for 5 more years to dual major and I don't know if I can wait around in this area for that long. I grew up here and am ready to explore, travel, see the world...but he doesn't want to do anything until he's finished with school.
-Very, very into sex. Sometimes I worry that's all he's interested in from me, although he adamantly denies that that's the case.
-Cries and changes the subject or gets mad at me when we try to have serious conversations.
-Says he has all of these ideas for things we can do together but he never follows through on them.
-I feel like i have to take care of him and am obliged to stay with him. Similar to a mother/child. I don't want to abandon him so I feel like I couldn't leave him even if I wanted to. I feel bad being away from him which leads to us spending way too much time together and not having enough time for our own interests. If I say I want time to myself he thinks I'm cheating or something, so I've grown accustomed to just not having time for myself which drives me crazy and makes me really irritable.
-Used(?) to lie to me a lot, supposedly to not hurt my feelings.
-Likes to turn things into a debate, why he's right and I'm wrong.
-Works in fast food.
"Greg" +
-Thoughtful. Within a couple of weeks of meeting me, he brought in candy for everyone at work (but texted me beforehand to see what I specifically wanted), bought me a sims 3 mousepad for my workstation because he saw it at a store and it reminded him of me (I'm obsessed with that game lol), and offered numerous times to pay for things for me.
-Funny and incredibly fun to be around.
-Very action oriented, backs up his words. We'll talk about doing something and then 5 minutes later he'll send me an e-mail with the specifics.
-Likes kids.
-Similar interests: traveling and movies
-Friendly. He can strike up conversation with anyone.
-Has a good job in finances.
"Greg" -
-He goes out drinking quite a bit.
-Gambles. Although, he has a decent amount of money so losses don't really hurt him that much.
-Loud.
-(Too?) social. I'm an introverted person and I can't stand being around groups of people for more than a few hours. I'm not sure if this would cause problems for us.
-I don't really know him that well. We text and email outside of work (which I know is borderline cheating...that's why I need to make up my mind FAST!) and used to hang out (completely platonic), but I felt bad doing that because of Ben. I still don't know that much about Greg overall, though.
-He's really into watching sports which I am not at ALL, but that's hardly a dealbreaker.
-We work together! Apparently co-workers have already been talking with Greg about all of this. Thankfully it's a small organization. The CEO goes out drinking with everyone on weekends and they're all really good friends. So professionally it shouldn't impact either of us but the idea that there are rumors floating around really annoys me. That's why I can't stand a lot of people, they can't mind their own business x_x
I wish I could combine the two of them to make one super awesome man but until that technology is invented..I'm stuck. Can anyone offer any advice or different perspectives? I would really, really appreciate it