Large age difference.

[doppelgaenger]

Bit harsh wasn't it, lol. Women can still look decent at that age and youth doesn't equal beauty. Some women in their 30's, put women in their 20's to shame.

Are you offering yourself as an example? Very well, let's see some pictures.

My point has nothing to do with beauty, though. It's that he's taming a cougar when he should be playing with pussies.

[Edward19]

15 months and the age never came up? . . . I can understand waiting but that's OVER A YEAR!

So you want to continue and she doesn't. . . I don't know, you seem to think it's going well so that's probably good

Expand on this "She says her mind his made up, and she's tried for the past 10 months to think of a way she'd make it work, but she hasn't come up with one." . . . does she want to end it?

She says she doesnt want to but has to. It was going magnificently, I've had the best times of my life with this woman.

I think you need to give this another thought, because your trust in her SHOULD be affected by that. Okay, when you first start dating someone, if there is an age difference or something that might have a strong effect on a first impression, it's understandable to conceal those facts temporarily. Don't you think she should have told you when you asked? It wouldn't concern me if a person thought that age didn't matter, but clearly this is something that really bothers her, and she knowingly manipulated you into thinking she was younger for her own personal gain. It sounds to me like she lied to you in order to have a nostalgic, youthful boyfriend, while she denied the age difference to fulfill her own desires. Now she's come to terms with herself and decided to reveal the truth to you for whatever reason. Her behavior is an indefinite red flag that signifies her dishonesty. It's likely that she is hiding other information from you or that she would continue to be deceitful to you any time she feels that sharing something with you could jeopardize her happiness or well being, which is pretty irresponsible, in my opinion.

The actual age difference doesn't matter. I've known she was significantly older then me since I met her. I still chose to be with her. Its not like she lied and pretended she was 25, I knew she was significantly older then me, be it 8 years, 11 years, 13 years, whatever. I'm sorry if I made it seem that I was incredibly surprised that there was that much of an age gap between us, because I wasn't.

The point is, she thinks it just can't be overcome. She's made me happy for the past 15 months. I don't know why we can't do this for the rest of our lives.

On a second thought, you're my age, man! What are you doing dating an old bag like that?! Yeah, you're going to get a lot of criticism from your peers for dating grandma. You know that in the back of your mind you're totally not cool with this age difference and you'll deny that through and through. I've dated older women, but never 13 years older than me! I was in a relationship for two years, where there was an age difference of 6 years. Lemme tell you, I got so sick of her attitude a year into things - she turned out to be very condescending, thinking that she was always right since she was older than me. I got fed up with some of her habits (I changed some of my habits for her) and she always gave me the crappy excuse, "I'm too old to change, this behavior is a part of me." I swear, the same things will start happening to you.

I've been with several my age. None of them made me as happy as this woman. I've spent the last 15 months with her. She's attractive, I love her personality, and we fit amazingly together. Yes, the age difference isn't a complete non factor on my mind, but the fact that I love her so damn much really pushes that aside in my mind.

Again, its nothing to do with the fact that she just now told me her actual age, its that all of a sudden she believes its too much of an age difference to have a successful longer-term relationship.

Also, I did intend to eventually marry this woman, both before I knew her exact age and after.

[xxazurexx]

Are you offering yourself as an example? Very well, let's see some pictures.

My point has nothing to do with beauty, though. It's that he's taming a cougar when he should be playing with pussies.

I'd love to show you my pics I'm wary of posting them in a public forum though...I do have Facebook tho

[xxazurexx]

I don't know why we can't do this for the rest of our lives....

Well you may feel this way now and because she's still quite young at 35. What we want NOW, isn't always what we might want...people and their needs change.

When you reach 40 and she's 53, or 47 and she's hit 60, you might think a lot differently.

One thing is for sure, I think she's right to not be taking a risk on you because I wouldn't take a risk with a younger guy either.

[Edward19]

People and their needs change.. yes.. but isn't that true of everyone? No matter the age?
I've been with people my age.. none of them made me feel like how she makes me feel.. She's my best friend on top of being the love of my life.. I spent a ton of time with her, we have similar interests, we finish each other's sentences... when we fight its short lived... we laugh at each other's stupid jokes... we have an amazing time when we're together... she's one of the most amazing people i've ever met.. if there wasn't an age difference between us it would be so painfully obvious to everyone that we were perfect for each other. I asked her what she would have said If there weren't such a big age difference between us and I asked her to marry her.. she said she would have said yes..

My question is.. why does an age difference have to destroy all of this..

This hurts... it really does.. i'd give anything to have her forever.. despite her age...

[Infern0]

Well you may feel this way now and because she's still quite young at 35. What we want NOW, isn't always what we might want...people and their needs change.

When you reach 40 and she's 53, or 47 and she's hit 60, you might think a lot differently.

One thing is for sure, I think she's right to not be taking a risk on you because I wouldn't take a risk with a younger guy either.

When shes 53 she might look like this...


and when he's 41 he might look like this....

[Edward19]

After a conversation with lots of tears and reminiscing from both of us, we decided to stay good friends, and stay in touch for as long as we can. I couldn't just let her go completely, because of how long I've known her and how close we've gotten as friends, and how much time we spent together. It still hurts, but Its a little easier knowing I'll always have her as a friend. We still hang out and talk on the phone, but less than before.

It sucks, knowing someone who wants to be with you for the rest of your lives as much as you do, but you can't for reasons out of your control.