My Boyfriend CUT UP my Thighs...(long)

[Raven_Skye]

So you guys think all those women who get beat up by their husbands and keep going back are mockeries of human intelligence too? Can't say I'd take that, I'd be gone in a second, no one who really loves you does that. BUT I try to have some respect for people, even if I think they're not making a smart decision. What do you guys think you're contributing here? getting in cheap insults? Yay for you guys, cause you are the smart ones.

Just so you know, I was being sarcastic there.

Is it so hard to put in a constructive post, or just shut up? Sheesh.

[RdHrshyKss]

So you guys think all those women who get beat up by their husbands and keep going back are mockeries of human intelligence too? Can't say I'd take that, I'd be gone in a second, no one who really loves you does that. BUT I try to have some respect for people, even if I think they're not making a smart decision. What do you guys think you're contributing here? getting in cheap insults? Yay for you guys, cause you are the smart ones.

Just so you know, I was being sarcastic there.

Is it so hard to put in a constructive post, or just shut up? Sheesh.

i'm sorry, but women who go back to their abusive husbands are unintelligent. they are willingly submitting themselves to abuse...where is the intelligence in that? these women are obviously so easily brainwashed and insecure of themselves that they'd rather play the victim, then actively take themselves out of the situation and do something productive with their lives.

BDSM is not the issue. the issue is that the OP and her boyfriend are still minors...if you are suggesting that it's normal for 16/17 year olds to be cutting each other as some form of sexual indulgence than there is something seriously wrong with you. what's next? kids doing this shit to each other in middle school? i'm sorry, but today's children are seriously misguided when it comes to sex (thanks to the media as well as retardedly conservative parents who refuse to allow their children to be educated on it honestly and openly), and it is a very very scary thing.

[Incognito]

i'm sorry, but women who go back to their abusive husbands are unintelligent. they are willingly submitting themselves to abuse...where is the intelligence in that? these women are obviously so easily brainwashed and insecure of themselves that they'd rather play the victim, then actively take themselves out of the situation and do something productive with their lives.

As simple as that sounds it isn't that simple. People with esteem issues often feel like they have one option, the person who is with them, even if that person is abusive. The fact that another person is willing to attach themselves to them (whether abusive or not) is often enough to make them stay put. These people tend to condition themselves into thinking that they need their abusive partner and that everything is their fault. It is not a simple matter of intelligence. I'll also say that some eventually do break free of their abusers and change their abuse perpetuating thinking, but not many. Unfortunately many end up seriously hurt or killed by abusers who knew that no matter what they did their "possession" would always be there and would take it.

To the OP: I didn't have the patience to wade through all of the pages. I read the first two and last one and a half. I personally believe that it is highly irrational to say that you still love him after this incident. It is not that I don't believe you, I just think that it is irrational thinking. Let me ask you this, if you saw on the news that a young woman's boyfriend shot her, but that it was only a flesh wound and she therefore decided simply get him help and that she still loved him what would you think about her? Most people would conclude that she either had deep personal issues or that she had mental issues.

As far as your boyfriend is concerned his other possessive and controlling patterns point to a person who is simply a possessive abuser, and he is priming you to be his, if you know what I mean. These type of people gradually abuse their victims first on a mental level and then move to a physical level. Unfortunately you put up with his mental possessiveness and abuse, so he took things to the next level. More unfortunate than that is the fact that you seem to be almost totally pressed into this "abuse victim mould" already. You are more concerned about him and the imaginary "next girl" than yourself, which is classic abuse victim talk. Please please PLEASE realize that his actions are not normal, that it is not within your power to "help" him, that it is not your responsibility to help him, that it is not your responsibility to help some imaginary "next girl", and that you are a victim of assault/torture who needs help.

As a side note I'd love to get a hold of your boyfriend and hack into his leg while I held him down. Maybe I'd castrate him too just to make sure that he never has a chance to reproduce as well.

[Gigabitch]

You're both mental. Get sterilized.

[RdHrshyKss]

As simple as that sounds it isn't that simple. People with esteem issues often feel like they have one option, the person who is with them, even if that person is abusive. The fact that another person is willing to attach themselves to them (whether abusive or not) is often enough to make them stay put. These people tend to condition themselves into thinking that they need their abusive partner and that everything is their fault. It is not a simple matter of intelligence. I'll also say that some eventually do break free of their abusers and change their abuse perpetuating thinking, but not many. Unfortunately many end up seriously hurt or killed by abusers who knew that no matter what they did their "possession" would always be there and would take it.

you may be right, but i'd be really interested in seeing some kind of study done on this. my gut feeling, is that most of the women who tolerate this type of abuse are less intelligent than those who don't.

[kapneb92]

Turn the tables on him; stick him in the weiner with a tack and cut up his thigh. Then run a bath for him and tell him everything's gonna be okay.

[Incognito]

^^^LOL

10 char

[Incognito]

you may be right, but i'd be really interested in seeing some kind of study done on this. my gut feeling, is that most of the women who tolerate this type of abuse are less intelligent than those who don't.

I'm not so sure about this. I doubt that these same women burn themselves on hot stovetops and return a few minutes later to to the same thing. That would be unintelligent. In hostage situations this same scenario can play out too and in a much shorter timeframe. I seriously doubt this has to do with intelligence. It probably has more to do with the victim's self esteem and will vs the aggressor's will and dominance.

I also did a quick check online through Google and I only found a few articles about the correlation between intelligence and abuse in women. They were written by individuals instead of medical institutions, so I didn't read them.

[RdHrshyKss]

I'm not so sure about this. I doubt that these same women burn themselves on hot stovetops and return a few minutes later to to the same thing. That would be unintelligent. In hostage situations this same scenario can play out too and in a much shorter timeframe. I seriously doubt this has to do with intelligence. It probably has more to do with the victim's self esteem and will vs the aggressor's will and dominance.

I also did a quick check online through Google and I only found a few articles about the correlation between intelligence and abuse in women. They were written by individuals instead of medical institutions, so I didn't read them.

yeah, i tried to do the same thing and didn't come across anything useful either. i guess we'll just have to agree to disagree haha. i definitely agree with you on the self-esteem bit, but in today's day and age where domestic violence is openly chastised (at least in the USA) and a woman decides to habitually go back to her abusive husband, i seriously believe there is a lack of intelligence there. but i do see where you are coming from. i guess my belief is that a woman who is intelligent would figure out a way to get out of that situation, and would be more aware of the type of manipulation going on. people who choose to limit their awareness in these situations are choosing to act unintelligently.

[Incognito]

I definitely see your point, but I remember a similar argument in the 50s or 60s that people actions are dictated by either environment or heredity. It is clear that in this day and age it is both. I suspect that many women who put up with constant abuse are a product of poor upbringing where either they themselves were treated as less and came to believe it over time, or where they saw their own mother treated poorly and thought it was the norm. If the most intelligent person is raised in an environment where certain things are deemed as "normal" the person may not question those things. Incest is obviously not normal, but where it is practiced the people who grew up around it may not question it because it has been a constant in their environment all their life. They could be doing calculus and banging their sister without giving i a second thought.

Racism is another one of these learned behaviors that comes about due to one's surroundings. No one is born hating someone else based on physical appearance, nor is racism a indicator of intelligence.

[RdHrshyKss]

I definitely see your point, but I remember a similar argument in the 50s or 60s that people actions are dictated by either environment or heredity. It is clear that in this day and age it is both. I suspect that many women who put up with constant abuse are a product of poor upbringing where either they themselves were treated as less and came to believe it over time, or where they saw their own mother treated poorly and thought it was the norm. If the most intelligent person is raised in an environment where certain things are deemed as "normal" the person may not question those things. Incest is obviously not normal, but where it is practiced the people who grew up around it may not question it because it has been a constant in their environment all their life. They could be doing calculus and banging their sister without giving i a second thought.

Racism is another one of these learned behaviors that comes about due to one's surroundings. No one is born hating someone else based on physical appearance, nor is racism a indicator of intelligence.

lol, i digress

[Incognito]

Not trying to argue, just debating using the limited knowledge that I have.

[RdHrshyKss]

Not trying to argue, just debating using the limited knowledge that I have.

yeah and doing a fine job too haha

[wanderer7]

If that's what he did to you the first time I am sure he'll do more and worse things next time. I wouldn't let him have the chance. This is scary.

A person who truly loves you would not hurt you against your will.

W

[Charisma]

First off, I wanna say I don't think the OP is a troll- tho what I say might make the OP go off at me, and it's not my intention to judge, accuse or lecture the OP in any way.

You must have a lot of feelings for the guy who has done this to you to think that perhaps it was a one off and that your first thought isn't to dump him or report it. I know that a lot of people think they that things won't happen again and that things are too good to leave. I also know that *one-off incidents* are never one off, or accidents. Perhaps he apologised after. Perhaps the scars have healed and you have forgotten about it. That's fair enough.

But if I were in your position, I wouldn't see him ever again. I would be concerned about my bodily safety, and the safety of friends, family or anyone else I knew who may decide to trust him without knowing that your incident ever happened with him. I know that sounds dramatic, but it's often the case that someone who's done something terrible has done it before with someone else. I'd like to think that if someone was dodgy, that someone who knew me would warn me of him before anything were to happen to me, and I really think you would have appreciated someone warning you as well.

What you do is up to you. Of course, I would think you're foolish to stay with him, only based on this incident. I love my thighs very much, and the rest of my body. But whatever you do, I wish you health.

P.S. to tolerate this stuff isn't about being stupid or immature. It's about the emmotional conditioning. If you want to *save, change or mother* a guy, then you'll accept that he has issues when dating him, because you'll think that your love with make him grow and change and improve, and maybe even love you back. Some girls even end up liking the abuse they get for some reason. Obviously you don't. That at least is a positive. You deserve kind, safe, healthy love, from a kind, safe and healthy man.