Average Contact

[Raven_Skye]

Well I hate talking on the phone. With my ex, before we lived together, I went to his place almost every day. The weekends I stayed over.
With another ex, long distance relationship, before I broke it off, talked via msn almost daily, texted twice a day or so, and talked on the phone maybe once a week, tops.

But if I really like someone I want to spend a lot of time together.. and I'd rather have a text than phonecalls, hate hate hate phone.

[VincenzoG91]

Out of curiosity, how much time do you spend either on the phone or in the company of your partner in the course of a week? Do you text or email nightly? Daily phone calls?

How little contact before you start thinking your partner has no interest?

Several short phone calls per week, plus one or two dates per week. Texting usually just happens when we're meeting up at the scene of the date or get separated while shopping. I sometimes email her, but she rarely emails me unless there is a lot of information to convey. If a week went by without any contact, I would become a little concerned. Even during a brief break-up, we still talked every few days.

As for preferred method of communication:

1. face-to-face: is the best. I can see facial expressions and body language and hear tone of voice, so the chances of a misunderstanding are pretty low.
2. over the phone: no facial expressions or body language, but at least I can hear a tone of voice.
3. email: allows me to send or receive a lot of information quickly, and I can skim for the important parts and save it for later reference. I can also send links and attachments.
4. texting: the worst. I can save a text for later reference, but sending is a hassle because I have to push these tiny buttons with my big fingers, an average of twice per character. So it takes too long to communicate so little, and the chances of a misunderstanding are higher. And she sends texts from her Blackberry, so I get these big info-dumps that are 3-4 text messages long, causing me to push various little buttons on my phone to read each installment.

[Sonrisa]

this is exactly why relationships fail cuz people have forgotten how to communicate. they find communication a chore and a nuisance. when you find the RIGHT person that you have a lot in common with, then there are so many things that could be discussed and the conversation would be an enjoyable one instead of being a bore. haven't you guys ever experienced that? don't you get that if you only want to talk to your partner when you need intimacy that it is not a real connection that you are experiencing but a mere physical need?

[doppelgaenger]

this is exactly why relationships fail cuz people have forgotten how to communicate. they find communication a chore and a nuisance. when you find the RIGHT person that you have a lot in common with, then there are so many things that could be discussed and the conversation would be an enjoyable one instead of being a bore. haven't you guys ever experienced that? don't you get that if you only want to talk to your partner when you need intimacy that it is not a real connection that you are experiencing but a mere physical need?

There's a difference between not knowing how to chat and being introverted. Most relationships fail as a result of incompatibility, though. I don't think communication has much to do with that other than the time it takes to realize incompatibility.

[doppelgaenger]

I could handle email. I could write pages a day to a girl. But talking to her... eh. I hate the phone. For me it exists solely to arrange face to face interaction.

Yeah, me too. I like the asynchronous part of it - allows me to think a little about what I want to say. Why not take it a step further and write her a handwritten letter? A love letter.

Ohh, hott.

[VincenzoG91]

I never bother with handwritten letters anymore. I've been told that my handwriting is difficult to read and looks slightly crazy.

[Sonrisa]

i've gotten some really nice love letters.....i can post them here for fun

[Sonrisa]

There's a difference between not knowing how to chat and being introverted. Most relationships fail as a result of incompatibility, though. I don't think communication has much to do with that other than the time it takes to realize incompatibility.

the most introverted person could be a great conversationalist once he finds someone who relates to him.

[doppelgaenger]

i've gotten some really nice love letters.....i can post them here for fun

I do too, but I wouldn't bother translating into English. I'd like to read your juicy letters though

the most introverted person could be a great conversationalist once he finds someone who relates to him.

I consider myself an introvert, but all that really means is that I prefer to spend the majority of my time in solitude. I have been in relationships where we spent a lot of time together, too much time together - chatting for hours, playing games together, attached at the hip basically, and all of those relationships ended because of incompatibility. In my experience, the right amount of distance really amplifies the value a person gives to his relationship

[Sonrisa]

what is incompatibility if everyone is unique?

[Mish]

this is exactly why relationships fail cuz people have forgotten how to communicate. they find communication a chore and a nuisance. when you find the RIGHT person that you have a lot in common with, then there are so many things that could be discussed and the conversation would be an enjoyable one instead of being a bore. haven't you guys ever experienced that? don't you get that if you only want to talk to your partner when you need intimacy that it is not a real connection that you are experiencing but a mere physical need?

I just don't like talking on the phone for any period over 2 minutes. I have tonnes of things to talk about, but I prefer to talk in person, face to face. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, in fact humanity has survived for tens of thousands of years without a mobile phone. Fact!