Still friends?

[subaru88]

I have started liking a girl thats a friend of mine but I really would rather not risk the friendship as she is one of the few people that I have become close to since moving schools.

So basically if a guy you are alright friends with expressed interest in being more than just a friend and you didnt feel the same way, would you still be friends?

[Poetic_Partner]

Speaking as a guy, I can say that it can cut either way. More often things are awkward enough that the friendship at least takes a hit, but other times there's no problem.

Your attitude can go a long way towards determining how things work out though. First, do NOT - NOT - tell her that you love her. Do not tell her you're attracted to her. Do not tell her you'd like a relationship.

Let's look at the simple economics of the situation.

If she is interested and has been waiting for you to ask:
a) You play it cool - she'll think "wow! now play it cool and just say yes - don't scare him off."
b) You declare your love - she'll think "OMG!!! Yes!"
Chose either option, though (a) will be safer in case the first date is a bust for either of you.

If she's willing to give it a try but, you know, no biggie:
a) You play it cool - she'll think "oh, why not? he's a good guy and it could be fun."
b) You declare your love - she'll think "uh-oh - back away slowly", then decide whether to continue being fairly close friends.
Chose option (a).

If she is in no way interested in dating:
a) You play it cool - she'll think "thank God he's not pushing it", then decide whether to continue being fairly close friends.
b) You declare your love - she'll think "ew - back away slowly" then be cool to you for a while.
Chose option (a).

Soooo, what do you do? Easy. Give it a nice and simple "Hey - would you like to go out to dinner this weekend?"

If she says "no" then play it cool and move on - "That's okay. Oh - how'd you do on the biology test, by the way?"

-PP

[flo_22]

This is always a difficult one. It depends on how long you've known her for and how close you actually are, like seeing/speaking to each other a lot etc. I'm guessing that you haven't known her for a long time as you said 'since moving schools'. Is she friends with other guys? Because sometimes a girl can just get on better with guys, therefore having more friends who are guys than girls. That could be a sign.

poetic_partner gave some good advice, I'd say drop in an invitation without making a big deal about it, cinema or something. If she says yes, then just go with the flow. If she says no, then hopefully as you didn't make that big of a deal about it, she won't either. I'm assuming you still want to remain friends with her, if things don't go the ideal way? Just make sure you are really okay with that, because it will be hard if she dates someone else and you still have feelings for her.
Good luck, I hope it all works out for you.

[girl68]

Nope.

I'd like to think it's possible but frankly it's too damn awkward.

[subaru88]

As far as I can tell im the closest guy to her, so I have probably already missed my chance because we already hang out alone sometimes. I asked her to the new harry potter lol but she said she never got into them, not sure if it was a no so ill just leave it alone for now

[MerryH]

Try again in the near future. If you leave it alone for too long, it might be too late.

I agree with Poetic, don't make any big proclamations of love or anything like that, although I'd add that you need to make it pretty clear that you want to take her on a "date," and that it's not just another friendly hangout. And make it an activity that's more agreeable to to a wider range of people. I would have said no to a Harry Potter date too. I think movie dates early on are a bad idea, anyway. Try something that allows you to communicate.