Marriage Doubts...

[DearDorthy]

So at this point im just trying to evaluate my current relationship with my finacee of 3 1/2 years. I've had some doubts about getting married. Does everyone? I've heard some people always do - but settle anyways and some have none and know 100%.

I had an ex come back in contact and mess up my head and im just trying to forget him right now and focus on my current relationship. I did have doubts before I knew anything of the ex , but since the contact 3 months ago I've been having more.

please help!

[Applesauce]

your fiance is confident he wants to marry you. It's unfair to him for you to have these doubts and hide them from him

[sweetkissesforu]

Be honest maybe you should not marry

[Petit Papillon]

Or try to imagine how your decision would affect your life in the future. What if, you break up. How do you see yourself without your fiance. Happy? Not happy? Do you see yourself crawling back? What i you stay and marry him. Happy? Not happy? Cheating on him and getting a divorce? And in the end. What situation is the best for you, where would you see yourself at best. Do a small analyse .

[Take2]

Can you and your fiance attend some counseling sessions together? If not, could you attend alone? I don't think doubts are uncommon, but a professional would be abe to help you figure out if they are "cold feet" doubts that are no big deal or really serious concerns that should be heeded. If the answer to that isn't clear to you, I would be wary of taking the advice of random strangers to choose the path of your future, as that's a biggie.

[RockNRoll]

You need to understand, what concerns you and why. As you figured out already, your ex is not the core reason of your doubts. So what is it? That's cheesy, but is it because of him or is it you?
I find Petit Papillon's questions for analysis really important as well.

Is he the right man for you to marry? Is this the right time for you to marry? Would it be better to leave alone this marriage thought for a little while?
I had a quick look at your other posts and it seems, that sometimes you are not sure whether you want to be with him at all. Probably you can downsize the question from marriage to that one. You are supposed to be truthful to him, but you are not obliged to be with him if you don't want to. It would hurt him even more in a long run and it's not fair for you, if you carry on when your heart is not in it.

There are pros and contros in everything, so it is absolutely natural to have doubts. It is even good, that you consider this decision carefully. And there is still time for doing it. Give yourself genuine answers on those and other questions, even if it is difficult. Think what you want in life, when you want it to happen and whether he feels like a natural part of those plans. You need to make up your mind and be certain about your choice eventually, but don't l be stressed, don't hurry and take as much time for it as you need.