My boyfriend lied repeatedly about past with ex -- they are still married!!

[RdHrshyKss]

Thank you for this reply. Everyone has been saying that he is a pathological liar and such, and I don't know if that's true. I love him so much. The way you describe your past self sounds EXACTLY like him. Do you think I need to leave him in order for him to learn, or do you think we have a chance?

he is a pathological liar, he had plenty of opportunity to come clean to you and persisted on lying. the only way he'll learn is if you leave him. and who knows if he'll even learn from that...save yourself the stress and find someone else.

[madotnw_nihs]

I don't think the reasons behind his lying makes any difference on the consequences or justify what was done. I do know friends and past experience just like DDD. I do understand their situation. I am a person that believe timing in when a relationship can work means everything. Can DDD and your significant other find be honest and have people trusting them, of course. But I don't think you and him met under the right circumstances. Had he learned that lying was not the way to go with someone else and he started off clean with you, I would fully encourage you to give it a try. I don't think someone can leave all doubts behind in a relationship if s/he knows that s/he lied to them again and again. I know all that matters to you is that You love him. Put it this way, If you don't love him and you are another person looking in, would you think you should give him a chance?

[nietsdoen]

I don't think the reasons behind his lying makes any difference on the consequences or justify what was done. I do know friends and past experience just like DDD. I do understand their situation. I am a person that believe timing in when a relationship can work means everything. Can DDD and your significant other find be honest and have people trusting them, of course. But I don't think you and him met under the right circumstances. Had he learned that lying was not the way to go with someone else and he started off clean with you, I would fully encourage you to give it a try. I don't think someone can leave all doubts behind in a relationship if s/he knows that s/he lied to them again and again. I know all that matters to you is that You love him. Put it this way, If you don't love him and you are another person looking in, would you think you should give him a chance?

You might be right about the timing part. I don't know if it can work. I do really love him. I'm going to need to spend some time thinking about this.